The spirit of giving

Today, one of our Yahoo alerts -- yes, we can do that -- brought us this great story of a man who got a new recliner with the help of his dachshund.

We think this is good for every dachshund to know, because it's important to know you can have fun on good projects to help your staffers. For instance, if your Staffer Dad says something like "Wow, I wish I had a new pair of dress shoes....", that's your hint to go do a bit of surgery on them to make them absolutely unwearable. That way he'll get new shoes, and you'll have helped in a way you enjoy.

We helped Staffer Mom out several times with some shoes and a couple pairs of socks we felt she really needed to get rid of. Maggie got a tooth hung in the strappy sandals, but it all worked out OK. We were banished from the closet for a week or so, but there wasn't much else to do there anyway.
At this time of giving, think of it as more than an average chore. You're helping out the staff and they can give each other something the other really needs now!

A Wiener Dog chair!

Yesterday Aunt Laurie went shopping and sent us the coolest picture of a chair....it's made of wiener dogs. (Thank goodness they weren't real.)
We like it when she goes out with her Iphone and sends us stuff she sees in California. (The staff says that's all the way across the country from here.) She found this at the Peter Alexander store there and thought we'd like it.
She was right.
For those of you who don't know, Peter Alexander is our favorite designer because he always tries to include dachshunds in his pajama designs and other things. He honors his old dachshund friend Penelope with the designs. We think it's a nice thing to do, and we hope our staff will do something that nice for us.

More Maggies! And puppies!

Here's another sharing shout-out for our blog friends Joey and Maggie over at The Long and Short of It.
Check out this blog entry and the live streaming web cam of dachshund pupppies!

And if you've paid careful attention and watched the show, that's 3 Maggies in one blog!

Thanks Joey and Maggie!

Can't they call him something else?

From Bandit:
Here's a news note, courtesy Aunt Meg. It's pretty insulting for those of us out here named Bandit. I seem to get in trouble enough just for licking my own behind. I certainly wouldn't do anything like this.

Dec 8th, 2008 | VALENTINE, Neb. -- A man dubbed the "Butt Bandit" for making greasy imprints of his nether parts on windows in the north-central Nebraska city of Valentine has been sentenced to more than a year in jail.
Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott says police caught 35-year-old Thomas Larvie in the act on Nov. 19.
Scott says Larvie was sentenced Thursday to 13-1/2 months in jail after being convicted of eight misdemeanor counts of public indecency and one of disturbing the peace.
Authorities said Larvie used lotion or petroleum jelly to make imprints of his naked behind -- and sometimes his groin -- on the windows of stores, churches and schools in Valentine beginning in the spring of 2007.
Townspeople dubbed the vandal the "Butt Bandit" even though no theft was involved.

The Holiday Dachshund tree is up

The tree our staff calls "the Christmas Tree" is up and lit. It's really pretty. We prefer to call it the "Holiday Dachshund Tree" because it has -- by our own count -- 32 wiener dog ornaments on it. Ernie the cat can't even try to keep up with that count. Granted, there are cat ornaments -- too many. But, over time our staff has worked for as many cats as dachshunds, so it stands to reason they'd have a few.

Our fave ornaments are those with our names on them. Then, there is the memorial Hattie ornament and the fun memorial Max ornament -- they were early dachshunds in the house and have their own ornaments. The staff is true to them and hangs them every year, along with ornaments they got when they went to Jamaica and New Orleans and Colorado and Louisiana and wherever else they were when they left us at the vet all those times.

















Now that the tree's up, the next fun comes from watching Ernie get in trouble when he knocks things off the tree and tries to climb it. Maggie's betting he gets in trouble within 24 hours; Bandit says it'll be more like 12.

Magic bush

Today Staffer Dad found out one of our favorite hiding places.
It's a big bush in the backdoor neighbor's yard. It has lots of great smells around it, soft dirt to dig underneath and, best of all, we can't hear Staffer Dad yelling at us to come home.
Staffer Mom says it's probably a Magic Bush with something called a Cone of Silence over it. She thought that was funny, but we think she may be right.
All we know is we really like that bush, and even if we hear him calling, we're not coming back until we a) hear the dinner plates going down or b) we feel like it.

Baby pictures

At least some good has come from the staff's recent push to clean up the house.
They found some baby pictures of us!


Here's Maggie in the back yard for the first time.
Then, it's a picture from her first bath, courtesy Staffer Dad.
And next, it's Bandit as a great-looking youngster.

Happy Thanksgiving!

We've had a great day!
The staff was home with us all day (except they did leave for breakfast -- where do they go? can't they just eat out of their bowls like we do?) and we got to go outside a lot and we had a T-bone steak bone each. Maggie left hers outside, and Bandit buried his. We'll pull them out later when they've marinated well in the dirt. We hope they are still there when we go back out -- somehow the staff seems to always confiscate them. (They say it's because they care. Sure seems mean to us.)

We also got to help the staff clean up the back room where they pile boxes and stuff they can't figure out what to do with or stuff they just don't want to fool with. They say a lot of people have one of those rooms, but we don't understand why. Humans seem to have a lot of stuff.

And that brings us to a couple other things: Since it's Thanksgiving, we wanted to say we're thankful for our blankies, staffers, grandma, our aunts, uncles and buddies and our blog friends.
Thank you all!

Aunt Allison turns 6+

Here's something really cool: Aunt Allison turns 6ish this weekend. We think. The staff tells us that dog years and human years are really different and it takes about 7 dog years to equal 1 human year. So if we did our math right, she's not really very old. Or, if we didn't, she'd be really, really old like a dinosaur or something.
We think we must be right on this because she doesn't look really, really old.
Now we're confused.

Cold weather is here, and so are the deer

This week, it turned winter around here. Staffer Mom pulled out the blankets for the staff, and we got an extra blankie, too. All that thoughtfulness is nice, but we still had to go outside to do our business -- and it was below freezing.
Staffer Dad insists we go out and walk and stuff. Bandit doesn't like it, but he remembers when it was worse. When he lived in Kentucky and had to go out in the snow and dig a hole. He thought it was pretty neat since his poo would steam when it was really cold. He keeps trying to make it happen here in this yard. Maggie just keeps crawling up on Staffer Dad to snuggle.

The other big thing this week is that we have a pet deer. Staffer Mom doesn't like him at all because he ate all her new pansy plants, but we think he's cool. The staff couldn't figure out why we won't chase him out of the yard or even acknowledge his presence. It's probably a good thing they don't realize how long he's been living here. We see and smell him all the time. We roll in his pee a lot. We think he's now peeing exclusively in our yard just because we appreciate it so much.
He was here all weekend, and that's why Staffer Dad made us take a bath today.
Anyway, we like the deer and we're going to try to keep him.
Staffer Mom's not going to be happy about this. She'll have to deal: We've named it Willis.

While we were out

We got to thinking. We should probably give you some idea of what we did during our timeout. We weren't in trouble the whole time. We did regular stuff like get baths and go visit the spa while the staff took a weekend off. We also looked out the window at squirrels a lot when we couldn't get outside to chase them off.


We also got to watch some TV. Dog shows are pretty boring unless you're in them, we guess. We're not really sure we'd want to see this scene all day, either.

And then there was Halloween. The staff wouldn't let us out, but we saw enough horrors on the Internet to serve us for some time to come. It's bad enough seeing people stick fake hotdog buns on wieners like us all the time, but bananas? Please.

We are back (OK, out of timeout)

First of all: We're sorry.
Second: We are making a public apology to Ernie. We didn't really mean to knock over the cat food tower (right), and we're pretty sure we weren't the ones who put cat food all over the den and dining room. If we didn't, it was truly an accident because we truly believe in immediately picking up any food we drop. (Sometimes we even fight to see who gets to snarf it up!)
Here's what happened: Staffer Mom filled up the self-feeding cat food tower, and we got a little excited and at some point it went flying across the kitchen and food went everywhere.
We admit mouthing off a bit about Ernie even needing a self-feeder and if she didn't want us to taste it it shouldn't be on the floor...yadda, yadda.
Basically, she told us we couldn't blog again until she quit finding food in the rugs and floorboards across three different rooms and until we figured out how to share our toys and when we quit digging up her new bed of pansies.
And then she wouldn't let us try to help by sniffing out the strewn food -- one of our more refined skills, she had to pull out the sucking vacuum cleaner thing and it never works right....anyway...more than you wanted to know.

But we're back.
Staffer Mom says that the first day of Tar Heel basketball season is special one and all household shenanigans are forgiven for another year. We are really glad every year when that day comes.
Go Heels!

Toy joy!

It's been raining all day, and it's really wet. We can't go outside, so we have to play inside. The staff is too busy doing stuff around the house and we have to find other entertainment.
Bandit's favorite game is to sit calmly on his pillow and then sneak off to steal cat food from Ernie's bowl. The staffers hate that and we think it's funny.
Maggie has toys, and they require protection. There's the formerly-stuffed duck and purple toy. Purple toy is her favorite because it's the oldest and it smells really good. Staffer Mom wants to wash it, but we won't let her. Why does she always try to wash our stuff? Can anyone help us with this?

Chihuawhat?

OK, we were really planning to ignore this whole chihuahua movie thing. But we just can't.
We watched the trailer again today when found out "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" opened with a $29 million weekend.
Still not impressed.
Maybe we just don't know enough chihuahuas. We only know 2 chihuahuas we truly like: Snickers and Precious. They've got a very keen fashion sense (see right), and we like their staffers very much.
The others we know are just not fun at all. They don't dig up stuff, don't chase moles and mostly they bark.
Anyway, when we watched the movie trailer again today we were really offended by a line in the movie's chihuahua song "We're the real hot dogs, now hold the bun."
What's that about? Why take a shot at wiener dogs?

Great race gallery!

Here's a link to a huge photo gallery from Saturday's Savannah Wiener Dawg Races on River Street. It was done by the terrific Kim at carriagetradePR and posted on the Savannah Spotted site, which is really near and dear to Staffer Mom. The site helps us a lot because we can see what's going on in town when we can't get out.

We're attaching the link for the newspaper's coverage of the '08 event. It's got a link to more photos, too!
And, we also found out there were Small Dog Races later in the day at Grayson Stadium. The staff conveniently left that out, and it explains where they were yesterday afternoon. Here's a link to photos of that action by our photo friend, Randy.

In the collections, you'll be able to see all the fun stuff and all the people who came to honor wiener dogs.

Sunrise over the race track

Longfellow was back this year! Staffer Mom said he was happy and ready to defend his title. He did pretty well, but another dog won. Oh well.
There were 123 registered racing wieners this year, and plenty more came to cheer.
The staff got there early to set up, and the sun was coming up over the race course. Here's a picture of that, at right.

Quick race updates!

The staff has returned and they brought us goodies and fresh pictures.
We'll add video and photos as they post for you.
Here's a video from this morning.

Wiener race Saturday!

Tomorrow's the day!
It's the Savannah Wiener Dawg Races and we're rarin' to go!
But as of now, we can't go ....again. Our staff goes every year, and they work really hard. Staffer Mom gets to coordinate the Navy sailor race volunteers and Staffer Dad helps with registration and heat assignments. Tonight they went to a reception on the USS Arleigh Burke and had fun...without us. Again. Last we met the Navy wiener racing team from the USS Hawes. They were really fun, and we hope they are well.

But, we got to stay home with grandma and play! She drops stuff on the floor just for us. She rocks!

Tomorrow, we hope we'll get to go. If we don't we'll (sort of) understand. Bandit doesn't want to race, and he'll get tired. Maggie wants to race, but she knows the staff won't have time to put up with her antics if they are volunteering. We know that all the money raised goes to dachshund rescue and related pet charities, so it's ok if we have to stay home in that case.

So, come on down to the races. It'll be at the Waving Girl statue on River Street. It'll be fun. If you want to register to race, go to savannahdachshundclub.com!

We hope to see you there, but if we're not there, look for our staff!

P.S. We'll post pictures!

A spa visit

It's been a very busy week for us, and we've spent the last 4 days at the spa. The staff had to have some time off for some reason, and they dropped us at the spa. We got exercise, pedicures, whirlpool baths, new bandanas and some good, focused attention. At one point, a woman in a white coat poked at us a bit, but that was all the badness. We like the food and toy bin there, so it went very well.

We were glad to see the staff today when they picked us up. They were so happy to see us, they were very nearly wagging. It's time for a nap.

Of course it's good

The staff likes wine, and one of their fave stars of the wine world is Gary Vaynerchuk, Jets fan and online wine guy.
While we're used to good food that comes in bags and boxes, the staff is not. Generally, they've made fun of wine and liquor that comes packaged in boxes. Until now.

Recently, they bought a box of "Bandit" brand wine. They probably bought it because Staffer Mom can't resist anything that has anything to do with us or reminds her of us. (Or it could've been that the box had a whole liter in it and that's more than a regular bottle. Whatever.)
And, she really liked it.
As it turns out, Vaynerchuk likes it, too!
Here's a video to prove it, courtesy Aunt Jenn and Uncle Brad.

Bandit's quite proud a drinkable wine is named for him. Maggie expects equal treatment very soon.

Not just tough. Beagle tough.

Today we've found a new hero for our Fierce List: Sofia the Beagle.
Watch this video to see why. Hang with it and you'll understand, especially if you've followed any of our digging escapades over the years.



Some of our best friends are beagles,including our buddy Sidda who is quite an escape artist in her own right. We also remember with fondness Uncle Brad's old Girlfriend. She wasn't a date -- he had some dogs for dates, but not this one -- she was a great, brave beagle friend. Her stubbornness made her an honorary dachshund. Video star Sofia's tenacity makes us proud.

P.S. Thanks to Houck for passing along the video.

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Get plastic, then shop

We've been begging to go shopping lately, and the staff has been pretty noncommittal. We got tired of waiting and decided to get online and go for a stroll today.

We found this terrific web site, pupstyle.com. It looks like a snooty New York boutique, but we found a few things there to be just what we need to be the coolest wieners in Forsyth Park.

Go there when your staff isn't watching. You'll need to quietly pull the plastic card things out of your staffers' purses or wallets before shopping there. We forgot to do that, so now we have to wait to actually order something.

Snore and snore alike

We found an interesting question on Aunt Allison's blog today: Do pets snore?
Yep, we do. And our staff will verify that.
Her big-ass cat, Bisquick, has inspired a poll to ask people about their pets and snoring. You can vote here.

We know we snore, and we know we dream. No big deal, and we don't disrupt things. The big problem is the staff. Our staffers snore and it's a problem. We are tired of being kept awake and not being able to hear our favorite shows at night.

We totally didn't hear part of the Serena-Venus match the other night, and we also missed the final "auf" the other night on "Project Runway." They may not stay awake for these things, but it's really annoying for us since we can't reach the remote to turn up the sound sometimes. Now we have to wait until Staffer Mom decides to watch a rerun to figure out who won.

(We really hated that whiny guy who created that chicken thing last week, and then there's Stella. Her makeup gets a bit better each week, but that thing she created for last week was awful.)
Who survived? We have no idea, but the whole point here is the staff and their snores.

For once, we think Ernie has the right idea: When a staffer snores, just sit on his or her head so they'll get a mouthful of fur. Now, we have to figure out how to get up on the bed.

Follow us!

We've added something new to the left side of our blog -- actually, 2 things.
- A new blog to read. Friends Jayne and Keith are in London for a few months. They're immersed in the city, and their tales are fun. Catch up on their adventures by clicking in from our blogroll.
- And, you can now be counted among our followers by giving us virtual head and belly rubs. Just click on the "Follow this blog" link and we'll know!

Hanna who?

First of all: Maggie has a new photo. It's her "I really do use the computer" pose. Let us know what you think. Several readers have asked us if we use the computer, and while we were a bit insulted, we can understand how some would doubt us. Keep in mind, we never really said what we use it for.

The week's been a real blur. The staff worked outside putting stuff away for a good part of the week. They continuously griped about hurricanes and someone named Hanna. We don't know much about Hanna, but they sure didn't even try to like her. Then, they told us it was going to rain all day Friday, but it didn't. The grass wasn't even wet on Saturday morning. They've been a real pill, and we want this hurricane thing to move on. Every time one comes near, they just go a little wonkers.

And then the network blamed Hanna for canceling today's USOpen women's final. What's with that? We did get to see Venus vs. Serena the other night. It ran a little late, but we enjoyed it. We couldn't hear anything much because Staffer Dad snored through it, but we saw a great matchup with 2 tough competitors. If they hit a ball at us, we think it would hurt. And we do admit to laughing Friday when Serena smacked that whiny player in pink in the head with a ball. Go Serena!

We were sorta right

Ok, no closets were cleaned out this weekend. We were right about that. But we did get to play outside a lot and watch the US Open. We did get a bath, but that was the only really bad thing that happened. Oh yeah. Maggie got in trouble for charging a springer spaniel on the nightly stroll. She maintains the street near the neighbor's house is her territory since she walks there every night. Staffer Dad disputed the claim. Nothing's been settled, but the spaniel knows who's boss now.

As for the tournament: We approve of this year's bright colors. And we approve of the return of tennis clothing that actually looks like tennis clothing. Maybe the whole cocktail-tennis dress era is over for a bit. Colors we like: Djokovic's green shirt and Serena's bright red dress are nice. She's just great in it! Lots of folks were wearing red though, so we suspect red is the new white -- for now. And we're very happy with Federer's orange shirt. It's just a nice break for all of them.

As for players who didn't win but played with style, let's hear it for Gael Monfils, the French guy who lost to Marty Fish. Poor guy. He lost on his birthday, but he gutted it out.

As for more tennis info: We just found out that tennis rackets used to be strung with catgut. Hear! Hear! (Except for Ernie...he's our friend.)

We're always right

OK. Remember what we said about how the staff would probably find reasons to blow the weekend. So far, we're right on.

They'd probably dispute that, but so far they spent Saturday WITH OTHER DACHSHUNDS at someone else's house talking about the plan for this year's Savannah Wiener Dawg Races. Then last night, they sat around laughing with some other folks from where we used to live and ate dinner and drank wine. Downside: We're a bit miffed about the minimal attention during all that. Upside: They dropped some decent stuff to eat in the kitchen.

Today, they managed to get a little done: Staffer Dad mowed the yard -- it's a lot easier to dig now. And, Staffer Mom fixed the toilet -- apparently a big deal since they refuse to pee outside. Have you ever wondered how much humans could save when they build a house if they'd just go outside for that stuff?
Then -- and we were right about this, too -- Staffer Dad and Buddy Gale watched the Cardinals lose to Houston. Staffer Mom's been focused on the internet and hurricane web sites. (We can understand that -- we don't like those storms either.)

They've promised us an evening watching the US Open. And that's what we've been waiting for. We're pulling for Andy Roddick and Venus -- she is a goddess!

3-day weekend!

The long holiday weekend is finally here, and that means more time with the staff. Every time one of these weekends comes along, they have some inane plan to get stuff done around the house. What that means for us is extra time in the yard, time in the pen and heavy-duty roles as distractions and mediators.
This time they really think they'll get a couple closets and a back room cleaned out. We're very dubious. First of all: They always come up with reasons not to do those chores, and they always end up at the beach for at least one morning. And, they never take us.
Our predictions: They'll blow off Saturday, try to make up for it on Sunday and fail -- we know the Cardinals game comes on at 2. That should finish off Staffer Dad. On Monday, they'll decide they should spend a few hours at the beach because it's a holiday.
On Monday night, we'll end up listening to them grouse because they didn't get much done over the weekend.
Let's hope they prove us wrong. But don't bet on that.

Listen when I meow

From Ernie (the cat): This is my new favorite movie.

A stylish event

If it's not enough for the US Open to be starting this week, we thought we should also remind you that it's Pet Fashion Week in New York. It's like Project Runway stuff except it's all about animals and style and animal charities. Check out the runway shows at this link. There are photos from last year's exhibitors and runway shows, and they'll be adding current ones as the shows occur.
Other than showcases for too few dachshunds and too many for poodles, we're especially thrilled about the design competitions for cool pet stuff, like better-looking food and water dishes.
It's about time!

Bye Olympics. Hello US Open

We've enjoyed the Olympics this year. We think there are some improvements to be made (add a water hazard and snarling pit bulls to rhythmic gymnastics, for instance), but all in all, it's fun.
Careful readers will know that we really like tennis, too. And, it's US Open time!
We'll be watching carefully for great serves and interesting fashion.
Anyone want to weigh in on who'll play the best and look the best?

Synchronized cool

From Maggie:
I think I've found my favorite Olympic sport. The staff left the TV on today, and we got to watch synchronized swimming.
Here's a video of the Russian gold medal swim performance. Wow. Pretty sure I could do that. Bandit says I'd be lousy because I wouldn't want to stay in synch with the other team members -- is that a requirement? I mean, can't they just follow me in my routine? And I would have to request a rule change about all that water. I'm certain that can be done in the backyard with tall grass. Seems like a waste of water. I could wear a shiny suit and be the one they throw up in the air!

From Bandit: She could just be the one to throw up. Seems like a waste of sequins.

It's 201

Yep, we just passed our 200th blog, so this is 201st! Yay!
Thanks for reading us.

We've been pretty busy this week, and here's an update on a few things.
- Aunt Jenn's doing OK. Her good knee was injured, but she's feeling fine. She didn't have the scoots after all.
- It's rained a lot. A lot. The staff blames it on something called "Fay." We don't really care except that it gets our feet wet in the mornings.
- Our buddy Amanda was here for a few days, and she's fun. She had to leave to do something called "City Chase." Apparently dogs weren't invited, because we're certain she'd have let us go, too.
- We ate all of Ernie's food one day and got a little "windy." But it was still worth it to get the good stuff.
- Last night, it was really noisy outside. The trees kept blowing and making things flash.
We're really glad it's Friday and the staff will be home for a few days. We need a break.

Feel better Aunt Jenn!

So yesterday we heard that Aunt Jenn got hit by a car while scooting around town. Now, it's bad enough that she got a case of the scoots (careful readers may remember Maggie's recent bout), but she must have been doing it in the street. We all fear cars, and we thought she knew better. Bumpers hurt.

....Oh wait....Staffer Mom says Aunt Jenn was hit while riding a red motorized scooter that takes her places like a limo. Oh. We only had one point of reference on that. Sorry.

Feel Better Aunt Jenn!

Ugh. Another old movie weekend

Remember when we told you the staff made us watch all 5 Planet of the Apes movies? Well, they are at it again. This weekend, between inane Olympic sports (badminton, handball?), they left us with John Hughes movies "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" and "Sixteen Candles."
- "Bueller? Bueller?" We loved that part. It's like when the staffers stand in the yard and call us and we don't want to come.
The limo was cool, and we'd like to have ridden in it. Alas, it's junk now.
- We applaud the canine actor hired to chase Rooney. Lots of good teeth-baring and foaming at the mouth. We thought it was effective.
- As for "Sixteen Candles," there were some nice details, but at least one part left us doubting the validity of the entire plot line. We're pretty sure Molly Ringwald wouldn't have worn red-and-white polka dot underwear. That really didn't add up for us at all. And we're really sure she wouldn't have given it to a geek. Nice touch, but just not believable. We've nosed through enough laundry baskets to know what types of undies fit various folks, and that just doesn't add up.
Bueller?

Early alert! Games for us!

We've been waiting patiently since last October, and now it's coming!
Registration opens Aug. 30 for the annual Savannah Wiener Dawg Races!
This year it will be more fun than ever with more to do....It's a full schedule for the first weekend in October.

We've got the races on River Street, and then later there's entertainment and fun at Grayson Stadium, a masquerade ball for all wiener staffers, a Sunday morning Blessing of the Wieners and more. AND, there will be races for other small-dog breeds, too. So, we're inviting all our chihuahua friends to come visit.

Last year's gathering was wonderful and raised a lot of money for Dachshund Rescue. We hope to help lots of animal charities this year. If you aren't in the Savannah area, it's a great weekend to head this way.

Check out the Savannah Dachshund Club web site for new information and early details.
Click on the topic labels for our fun stories from last year and many, many photos!
And here's a video from last year's craziness.
Yay!!!

We're not sleepy; we're imitating the staff

So, we've been reading some new stuff over at Joey's and Maggie's blog, The Long and Short of It All.
Today we learned that yawns are contagious between dogs and humans. You have to read this.
Of course, there are a lot of human habits we'd rather not have any part of.

PS: check the cool Olympic mascot to the left. It's Waldi from Munich. Sure puts that stupid Izzy from Atlanta to shame. We live in Georgia, and we hated that thing.
Want to know more Waldi history? It's on their blog, too. Click here.

Sunday at home

Yep, we were stuck at home all day. The staff got up early and just took off. Hey! It's the weekend -- they're supposed to be home with us!
When they got home, they smelled like they'd been to the beach. We're going to find out where they've been, because this is just not right. And Saturday, they let us out to play and then Staffer Dad kept flinging old, wet pine needles at us from the roof. He said he didn't mean to hit us with them, he was just cleaning out the gutters. Right. Staffer Mom was laughing too hard for us to believe that.
We'll let you know what we find out. Payback could be interesting.

More wieners in science

Today it rained, so we spent a lot of time on the Net. We learned that, yet again, wieners are helping humans in the science research. They keep coming to us for help, and we're a little worried that we'll be seen as lab rats. Not good.
Anyway, in a weird Norwegian study done somewhere in New York, they figured out that if they put sunglasses on a wiener dog, they'll be able to learn about human blindness. OK, fine.
But we're not wearing sunglasses except on the beach. And that's that.

Finally, we're excited about the Olympics!

Thanks to our friends Joey and Maggie over at The Long and Short of It, we've learned about Fred the dachshund and his quest for the Beijing Olympics. His staff apparently made a short film to show us what he's been through to get to the tennis-ball diving championships. Watch it here.


Our staff says they'll leave the remote out if we want to watch for Fred on TV, and we also will be checking the Net since there's 2,200 hours of programming planned. Oddly, we can't seem to find a listing for that sport, but we figure this one is so special, they'll be showing it during prime time. Right?

New blog friends

We've heard from some new blog friends at Who's Your Dachshund -- lots of owners and great wiener buddies. Give it a read at this link. They talk about all sorts of fun things and there's good info about all things dachshund. And give our blogroll a look sometime....we've got lots of fun friends!

We're not lazy

Ernie's wrong; we've been busy. Yep, we've spent a lot of time online this week looking for new sites and ideas. We found a lot of sites you really need to check out. Most of them had substance and some had style.
This one's just fun. Try it, and then type in your own message, too!

Ernie takes over

The dogs have been lame this week. They've slept a lot and fought over food, so I'm going to blog.
Here's my entry.

We earn our keep and we're scary, too

Lately, when we irritate the staff by asking questions like "When do WE get a vacation?" or "Why do we have to eat in the laundry room?", it's been suggested that we might should consider getting jobs. As ludicrous as that notion may be, we know we'd be successful at many careers.
For instance, a cemetery owner in Fremont, Nebraska, uses a dachshund to clean moles out of the cemetery. You can read about it here.

We think that's absolutely something we could do. Heck, we do it now and we should ask the staff to pay us for that!

Also, Foster's and Henry's mom sent us a story recently suggesting dachshunds should be used more in comic books as the scary, threatening beasts instead of gorillas or dinosaurs. It's true. There's no way we wouldn't win those matches. No way.

Here are some quotes from an essay she sent over:
- "While a ticked gorilla is still throwing leaves around and having an ostentatious hissy fit, the wily dachshund will have already tripped you, crushed your trachea, and, as you suffocate, be sitting on your chest chewing on your ribs while farting in your face. And wagging his tail."
- "How many gorillas do you know in real life interested in world domination? Zero. Again, gorillas pale as a threat when compared to dachshunds, all of which are bent on world domination. Charles Heston would've lasted about 3 seconds on the Planet of the Dachshunds...."

And we've been forced by the staff (and Uncle Brad and Aunt Jenn) to sit through all five Planet of the Apes movies in one day, so we know this is true. If we were in charge, ol' Charlton sure wouldn't be doing all those NRA commercials, and he'd never say this because we don't allow people to talk to us that way. He'd be a believer in dachshund justice and working for DRNA (Dachshund Rescue of North America).

So, the staff should pay us for our star potential, too. We'd compromise for getting to eat dinner in the kitchen...near the cat food bowl.
Especially if it's full.

Dog Days

Well, as you may have expected, we're back at home and the staffers have returned to their old routine: Get up, take us out, eat breakfast, make us watch Staffer Mom read the paper, send us to our playroom. That's a normal morning. Evenings have been better because it's been raining some and it's really hot outside, so the staff has to play with us inside. And when that happens, we get to watch lots of baseball with Staffer Dad. We also get to learn new words when the Cardinals blow a 7-run lead late in the game.
We realize it's not a glamorous life, but for us, it's fun. We guess the Dog Days of Summer were really meant for us.

Storms and other noises

It's been an interesting week for us. Lots of sun, sand and some storms. The best thing so far has been right near the house. Maggie discovered a dove's nest right under the deck, and we haven't had any luck digging through to it. We run out every chance we get to try, but we haven't been able to get to it. The staff says we should leave it alone, but we really think we could make friends with the dove family if we could just get to it.

Otherwise, we've had lots of fireworks around the house, and while the staff says they are no big deal and kinda pretty, we have our doubts. If they are harmless, why do they make all that noise? And then this morning, we had lightning and thunder and really loud rain. It woke us up early and we realized quickly the staffers weren't going to take us out to walk in all that.
While Maggie resorted to hurling her body at the door, Bandit decided to woof now and then. We really weren't sure what to do, and neither tactic worked well. Staffer Dad didn't even come to see us with the leashes until it quit raining. We thought we were going to burst. Later today, it stormed again -- and that was better than all that noise from jet planes flying over all week. Even those big things couldn't fight Mother Nature. They didn't fly at all today, but we're guessing a lot of other things did since the wind was really howling.
This video is something that happened on the beach nearby while the staff was away today. Our buddies from Alabama saw it happen!

Science appreciates us, too

Wow. In today's Science Daily, we found an article about a stubborn gene that may help stop invasive breast cancer. The gene's name: Dachshund or DACH1. We think that's terrific, and it's named appropriately. First of all, we are stubborn, and stopping breast cancer requires this gene to be on patrol. It also has the ability to herd other genes gone wild and make them behave normally. Obviously, science take our breed seriously, too. Maybe being aggressive about some things isn't so bad after all.

We're SO aggressive

We've had a chance to do a little extra reading this week, and we're a little perturbed at one of the recent stories we found. It says dachshunds are rated as "most aggressive" among dog breeds. We don't like to criticize science, especially since it brought us a lot of cool things like Kong toys, flea killer and Science Diet food. But, this research has to be wrong. Here's another look at the study and how it works. It's got more context, something Staffer Mom says is important. We just think it explains the findings a bit more fairly.
About the only thing we're aggressive about is digging holes and relaxation.

Walks, snacks and naps

We really enjoy vacations -- it means the staffers are with us all the time, and they generally do what we want. When we want out, we go out. When we want to nap, we can scramble up on the sofa and take one. When we want to eat, we can usually sniff around on the floor between meals and get some snacks. They invite lots of friends over and every one seems to drop crumbs and laugh a lot. Really, it's our job to make sure things are cleaned up, so this works out well.
We take walks regularly, and sometimes we see other dogs and sometimes we see people riding things with big wheels. We don't like those. But we do like the walks, so we'll deal with the bike things. Maggie thinks she can probably take one down with a well-placed fang in the back tire.

W is for Wimbledon, Williams

From Maggie: Last year, I was able to give you regular observations about Wimbledon fashion, but this year the staff changed how the TV remote works and we've had trouble figuring it out. So sadly, our fashion updates had to be sacrificed. (We'll try to do better for the U.S. Open -- there are more fashion risks there anyway, and I'm more than willing to point them out.)
Today, we're in luck because the staff decided to let us watch the finals. And I'm pleasantly surprised to find my fashion fave, Venus Williams, playing sister Serena. Venus is always my pick for best-dressed anyway, but today, even in the respectful Wimbledon white, she's a goddess in her plain halter dress. Her sister, on the other hand, looks less like a go-go dancer today and finally got rid of the less-than-classy catsuits (for now). Today, she's chosen a low-key dress with a graceful plain top. Her earrings, however, look like beaded shower curtain rings. Venus would never make that mistake.

Edible hot dogs

Here's a look at more hot-dog-eating, at a professional level.
See this one. It's the only kind we sanction.

Hot dogs and bad snacks

This week, we've been very busy. We've been watching the staff pack for a trip, and then yesterday, we left on the road trip. It was fun, but we were so tired from watching them pack, we slept a lot. This morning we've been catching up on news and Wimbledon (more on that later) and listening to the staff and Uncle Brad and Aunt Jenn yammer incessantly about stupid stuff.
However, Uncle Brad has gleefully informed us that the original hot dog -- the kind you eat -- was first called a "hot dachshund" or "dachshund sandwich". We weren't all that amused. Anyway, then we learned about Vienna Sausages, which are really small hot-dog-looking meat things that come packed in a can. (Staffer Mom says some people call them "Vie-A-Ner Sausages.") Whatever. They do sound like something we'd eat. Oh yeah, and speaking of small stubby things we might eat:
Did you hear about the dachshund who gnawed off his owner's big toe?
Ok, it's not funny, but we can sort of understand how this can happen. Staffer Dad dropped hamburger on his pants one time and we went for that. We don't think this situation is remotely the same, but here's the story if you want to read it. It turned out pretty badly for the wiener dog involved, and we do not recommend this behavior. It's a tough lesson to learn, but don't eat stuff you're not supposed to.

Weekend fun

It's been really hot here lately, so the staff won't let us stay out in the sun for too long every day. We'll go out and play for a while, then they'll make us go in. We'll get to go out and run, then they'll make us go in. While the irregular outings are not too good for getting a lot of good holes going, we have enjoyed being busy. And we haven't been totally disrupted: We found 2 baby snakes just yesterday.
One new thing that's happened is that the staff put furniture on our back porch. We've lost about two-thirds of our territory out there. And, now they sit out there. Frankly, we feel out turf has been invaded a bit, but we have to balance that with the simple fact we get more head rubs out of it. And that, as that snarky blonde woman on TV says: It's a good thing.

Remember to vaccinate; it's important

The following note is from the kind staff of our friends, the Navy racing wieners Skipper, Cricket and Pretzel. They wanted us to pass it along to all our readers, human and canine. The photo is of the wieners friends' foster brother Nicholas, who died this week because his former staffers didn't care enough to have him vaccinated against basic illnesses.

To Whoever Dumped the Red Dachshund with the NY Giants Collar:

This is to whoever dumped a sweet 1-2 year old red male miniature dachshund with the New York Giants collar along I-264. You might want to know he passed away this morning at 9 AM. No, he wasn't hit by a car although he came close several times before someone stopped and rescued him. No, he didn't die of starvation because he went without proper food and water for some time. What killed him was the fact that you sent him out into the world alone without being vaccinated and he contracted Parvo. When Dachshund Rescue of North America got him in he was already sick and we took him to the Vet. He has spent the last 3 days in ICU at a Norfolk Vet fighting to survive but slowly dying from the virus. No expense was spared in the medical effort to save him, but you not spending the money ($18 at the SPCA) to get him vaccinated sentenced him to death. And what is truly sad is that every time someone walked into his room at the Vet he would perk up and look to see who it was. He was looking for you, his family and would sadly put his head back down when it wasn't you. He showed such loyalty to you who didn't care enough to protect and care for him. We with Dachshund Rescue gave him love, medical care and were with him at the end, even though we didn’t know his name and had only known him a few days. Where were you? The people that had raised him from a puppy for the past 1-2 years and who he was so loyal to.

For those of you reading this sad story PLEASE vaccinate your pets. If you can't afford to take you pet to the Vet and keep them current, then don't get a pet until you can. Yes, it is wonderful that you have lots of love to give, but love will not protect an animal from disease. Parvo is a real problem in this area, highly contagious and unvaccinated pets are sitting ducks. We have seen it in our local dog parks and shelters, but it can be picked up anywhere a Parvo infected dog defecates. It can survive up to 9 months on any surface (grass included) even if the feces is no longer there unless sanitized with bleach. All this poor little boy had to do was walked through an area were a Parvo animal had defecated and somehow transfer it to his mouth and he was infected. So unless you keep you pets in a plastic bubble and never take them out, they are at risk for Parvo unless vaccinated.

For those of you re-homing animals: Please make sure the new owner is willing/able to provide Vet care. We at Dachshund Rescue of North America have seen many dachshunds that were re-homed on Craig's List and never taken proper care of. When these dogs got sick these new owners figure it is cheaper to find another puppy/dog than to pay the vet. So make sure your pet goes to a home that will truly care for him/her. And if you can't find a good new home for your pet take them to a shelter, SPCA or call a rescue group, don't just dump them somewhere like with this poor guy.

If you are looking for a dachshund to adopt or need to surrender one please check out DRNA.org.

Sorta good deeds

Staffer Mom always says no good deed goes unpunished. We're not really sure what that means, but we do know that sometimes they are rewarded, too. While we were surfing the Net today, we found this Fierce Wiener Friend who's learned a skill and is taking care of a staffer. We're proud to bring this to you. After all, it's not every dog who learns to push a wheelchair.
(Of course, Maggie says our staff better not even think about it -- when Staffer Mom broke her leg, we couldn't even get on the couch for weeks. We also wouldn't go near her crutches -- she was lethal with those things.)

Under the heading of Dubious Good Deeds, check out the dachshund who plays with fireworks. It's the feature video this week on The Daily Dachshund. And no, we don't approve of what the authors named the video, but the staff tells us it's possible it's accurate. (Apparently, where Staffer Mom works they say truth will get you out of all sorts of trouble.)

Anyway,we've got to figure out how to get the staff to buy us some of those things that shoot fire!!

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Yay! We get attention!

We're wagging again today becaue we just found out we were chosen for the international Dogs With Blogs listings. It's a giant compilation of, well, Dogs With Blogs. They don't choose just every dog blog, and they are really good about featuring faves. We hope we'll be good enough for that one day.

Check out the site and you'll find Dog TV channels, a forum for all of us to chat about our favorite topics (bad cats, flea meds, rolling in poo, dead birds, etc.) and podcasts by other canine friends.

Go fetch!

More fierceness

Today's headlines bring us lots of great wiener news, and we're obliged to share.

First off: Take this one, for instance. It's about a brave wiener with a seriously fierce staffer. The owner and her friends dug for nearly 8 hours to find her dog. You'll just have to read it to find out why you shouldn't be wandering around a gopher-tortoise hole.

And the other news of the day comes from our old neighborhood. It's all about a fierce dachshund named Seabiscuit who warned her owner about mean coyotes in the yard. We were alerted early today about this story from Uncle Mike and Aunt Allison -- Bisquick the cat's regular staffers.

See. We told you wieners and their staffers are tough!

Uncle Brad's annual humiliation ends ...for now

Poor Uncle Brad....lots of folks have had fun at his expense. Several great entries were appended to our post for his birthday and there were outside entries, too. (Scroll down if you don't want to hit the link.)

From Pat the Red Sox fan:
"M-O-N-K-E-Y = 15 Scrabble points.
B-R-A-D = 7 Scrabble points.
Monkey wins and Brad loses. Brad's old. Happy Birthday."

And the winner is:
"Well, okay ...just one squeeze...but only the left one." from our buddy Rhonda!

Oh yeah! We hit 3200 reads on our blog today. We're wagging really hard right now!

A very brave warrior

We just heard about this and we MUST share with you.
Check out this clip....it's a little slow in the beginning, but it got a lot better when the wiener dog showed up.
It's vintage wiener bravery! We're naming this new friend to our Fierce List.

It's Uncle Brad's birthday

It's a special day when we celebrate Uncle Brad's time on Earth with his most flattering photo of the past year.
In the shot, we find him berating a plastic monkey who'd just beaten him in Scrabble.

We're inviting our readers to suggest captions for each photo as a gift. If you're reading this on Facebook, please come over to lowdogworld.blogspot.com to add your cutline.

As Uncle Brad would say: Don't be skeert.

Porches and fresh paint

In our earlier entry, we told you Staffer Mom was planning to paint the back porch. Well, it went OK. She only threatened to give us stripes and paint our tails once. The best part of the day came when Maggie was able to sneak right past Staffer Dad mid-day to leave a few wiener-dog paw prints on the fresh paint.

While Staffer Dad got yelled at for letting her do that, we fared OK. Staffer Mom was planning a second coat of the butter-colored paint, so that took care of the problem when she put that down later in the day.

Now it's another day and she's making us wait one more day to be able to play on our porch. At least we get to walk on it again -- it may be months until Staffer Dad gets to. We're really hoping this never happens again. It's a bother and we deserve our porch back.

Saturday notes

(sing along with us....) IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE -- we don't wear any clothes: Summer heat is here, and we've been stuck in the Stupid Pen most of the day. Staffer Mom got out the pressure washer again to wash the porch, so we were probably safer there anyway. She did manage to get Green Pillow wet, so we're sitting on a damp nest.

GRIPE SOMEWHERE ELSE: We are slightly annoyed at all the folks who complain about the weather -- specifically the warm temperatures. We have fur, and we don't gripe about it. The humans had a choice. If they don't like it here, they should just move to Alaska or somewhere. If you move to Savannah, you're just asking for heat and humidity.

GOOD AND BAD NEWS: From Aunt Laurie: Yuki the Dalmation has graduated from kindergarten. We're pretty impressed with that. Apparently she got a diploma for her wall (Yuki, not Aunt Laurie) and some special treats. As for the bad news: Cool cat Xerxes, at right, died this week. He'd been with Aunt Laurie since he was found trying to rob a Long Beach ATM back in 1993. Oh wait....Staffer Mom says he wasn't trying to rob an ATM, he was only trying to find an owner with cash. ....Anyway, he was a fierce cat who fought bigger animals and his own diabetes for years. He was a good friend to his staffers. We know he'll be missed here on Earth.

BIG BROWN MISSES A DELIVERY: We watched the Belmont today and we were very sad Big Brown didn't win. However, the shameless pitching for UPS drove us nuts -- we know the delivery service or someone close to it has financial interest in the horse, but it was way too much. Next thing you know, they'll be shipping him in a cardboard box for fun. Is it possible the horse got tired of it, too, and said "I'll deliver when I get good and ready, and dang, it's hot out here. Let's go in and get a beer..."?? Horses are smart that way....

WE'VE BEEN BANNED: We mentioned that Staffer Mom has been washing the porch. She's planning on painting it tomorrow, and we've been banned from playing out there for now. Staffer Dad can't go out there, either, so we aren't taking it personally, but we think he might be. We'll let you know how that goes. We have a bad feeling the new porch paint may get a few foot and paw prints before it's over.

Snakes and rats

Wow. In just 2 days, we've heard 2 heroic dachshund stories, and both involved the word "rat." What are the odds?
And both stories eclipse the time Bandit swallowed a really big live rat to keep it away from Staffer Mom.

First: Aunt Meg told us about her friends whose mini-wiener dog killed a huge rat in their home and sat next to it until they came home. That was heroic!

Second: Uncle Brad passed along a cool story about a gray rat snake, and then another about a dachshund who ate a whole snake, then yakked it up and it crawled away. Very cool.

Uncle Brad also made a cool photo of a dachshund as Indiana Jones in the big snake pit. You should check his blog to see it. Click here.

We're pretty impressed -- and that's not easy. And we do wonder if there's something about Columbus, Ga.,where all the rat and snake stories took place.

Oh well, we just want to tell the wieners involved: Way to go buddies!

Cheer, cheer for beer

With all the cliches wiener dogs generally endure, the German beer one is OK with us. Since we are dogs of German descent, people always assume we love beer.
"Assume" usually means believing something without proper facts in evidence that will eventually make an ASS of U and ME, but in this case, truth is a defense. The photo is of our USS Hawes buddies Skipper, Cricket and Pretzel enjoying a brew at last fall's wiener dog races. You can't see the cup behind their staff's legs, but it's there. There's even an extra one off to the left of the picture.

Generally, the staff won't let us have beer or that type of beverage at all. They say dogs shouldn't have alcohol, and they say it will give us gas. (We think they are more afriad of the latter issue and the former is just an excuse.)

Well, now we've learned there's non-alcoholic beer brewed for us! Read about it at this link. We thank our buddies over at the Daily Dachshund for letting us know about it all.

A perfect career?

The staff just told us something very cool: Aunt Jenn, right, has a job that allows her to spend all day digging up stuff. Sometimes she finds bits of rock and sometimes she finds dead things....AND she gets paid for it!
We're very good at that type of work, and if we had to have careers outside of being landscape artists, guard dogs and stress busters, that might work for us.
It does alarm us, though, that Staffer Mom told us about Aunt Jenn's new job and then made several remarks insinuating we should earn our keep.
We are heartened, though, because if we could get that kind of paying job, it might be just perfect!

Nap time

From Bandit: We are firm believers that naps are often very good things, especially after a big mole-trail excavation or a run in sand. Naps keep you happy, healthy and help you renew for the rest of the day. Aunt Allison recommends taking time out in her blog, and she's usually right about things like that.

As careful readers know, we went to the beach last weekend and played very hard. It was warm, and we took lots of walks every day. The pavement was hot, but we liked the soft sand. We got tired, but a great nap on green pillow was all we needed.
Here's a picture of Maggie's great nap after a long walk.

Let's all take a few minutes to chill out and just go mellow. It's good for you.

Endless food; gas for the road

From Maggie: Ernie, our cat friend, has a food dish the staff calls a "self-feeder."
When he wants to eat, he can walk up to it and it always has food. A small chute in the back provides an endless supply, it seems. We've always been jealous of that, but we never could get close to it because the staff won't let us eat cat food. Patience does pay, however, and yesterday was payday.

By the time the staff arrived home from work, we'd discovered that the supply is not endless. In fact, once it's empty, it's gone. When we got access to the bowl early in the day, we decided to learn its secret. We decided the way to do this was for Bandit to just keep eating until it was clear how it worked. We still don't know how it works, but we do know the staff wouldn't give us any dinner and they weren't the least impressed with our research.

What else we didn't know was that we were supposed to leave on a road trip last night -- they tend to not tell us this stuff because Staffer Mom says I get "overly excited." Whatever.
They piled us into the limo and took us on a 8-hour trip to one of our fave places -- the beach.
We felt like sleeping on the trip, because our tummies were full. Bandit was complaining of some tummy upset. He even turned down the opportunity to rummage through Staffer Mom's purse when she left it sitting open.

We didn't get much sleep though. Let's just say that while we were very full and calm, our tummies weren't.
Staffer Mom kept opening the back windows and yelling at us. At one point she called us some kind of "blossom" and cursed at us.

It's all the staff's fault. If we hadn't had access to the cat food, we wouldn't have had upset tummies and we wouldn't have tried to figure out how much food was in the bowl. What were we supposed to do? Just look at it?

Gotta run. Bandit needs to go outside again, and I want to watch.

Summer bath time

First of all: We're sorry for the delay in posting this week. We've been pretty busy since a family of moles took up in the backyard near Staffer Mom's impatiens bed. We've had to get to them, and it's been tough. She's put planted pots around on the mole trails, and it's take a few days to knock them over and get in the holes. We finished rooting through it today.
We got really dirty, which brings us to today's topic.
Bath time is not fun, unless it's really warm outside. And today was warm. So we'd like to show you what a proper bath should be like.

Staffer Mom helped us do 2 videos to show proper a bath (administered to Bandit by Staffer Dad) and how to dry, again by Bandit.
He prefers the shake, waggle and roll method, followed by a hard run for a final air dry. Maggie prefers a gentle towel dry, as you can see in the photo.

Weekend at Grandma's

We took a really long road trip this weekend and ended up at Grandma's! She built a whole new room on her house, and we think she did it for us. We love the new room! If we stayed with her, we could live out there and stay off of her good rugs. She has a big yard and we dug there with some success. She says the bigger holes are snake holes or vole holes, but we think she should let us dig and find out.

Anyway, it was a good trip and we think the limo smells better now than ever. We spent a lot of time there, and it finally smells like us. It's about time.

Maggie meets Gnate

The staff took us out to the Humane Society Doggie Carnival on Sunday. We saw lots and lots of our kind and many other members of the canine clan, too. We had a good time, but we found it to be really crowded and humans kept getting caught in leashes all over the place. We don't understand why they can't seem to figure our how to walk with them. They make us do it.

Anyway, we saw a few celebrities, including Gnate the Gnat from the Savannah Sand Gnats. They're having a dog's night out at the ball park soon, and we've decided we want to go. It's not free beer night, but the staff will probably want to go anyway. We'd like to invite all dachshunds to join us at Grayson Stadium. We'll post details soon!

Pressure-washer weekend

Staffer Mom has a new toy. She got a pressure washer to knock the mildew off the house, and she's found she can do that and more. In fact, we think she likes it a little too much. For instance, she can shoot our food dishes 50 feet across the yard, and she can knock pine cones off the roof with a stream of water. We don't even want to think what it might do to us if she decides we need a bath. We won't even be able to hide under the patio chairs.

However, we can think of a few things we'd like to use it for:
1) Shoot squirrels our of the trees. They're just plain fussy this time of year.
2) Knock the dog treat can off the backyard table. If it hits the ground, it's ours.
3) Launch the side-neighbor Jane's chihuahua across the rose bushes and back into its own yard. Need we say more?

If she'll quit threatening us with it, we're going to like this thing.

Movie night

Tonight the staff let us watch the last part of the classic "Eight Below." It's about great sled dogs who took a human across the frozen north and then were abandoned. Granted, the human finally got back to them but it took them long enough and one of them died. We felt really bad for the girl dog who almost didn't make it. The other dogs tried to feed her birds they caught, but she just doesn't eat bird, we guess.

Anyway, all they really needed was Lassie. Let's face it. She never would've let the situation get to that point. First of all, there's no way she would allow herself and her close friends to be chained to a sled to pull some human. And, she'd never go that far north. Snow on those paws? We don't think so.

Update on quiz

We just found out the quiz link wasn't working properly. Sorry.

Try this one and let us know what kind of dog you are. That is, unless you already are one.

Dog wannabes

Ok, so we always wonder about humans and what kind of dogs some of them would make. We have a pretty low opinion of most of them, but we still want to know.
We found this quiz on Dogster -- a fairly decent web site to help humans learn more about our kind.

The quiz helps humans try to figure out what dog breed they'd be. Ask your staffers to take this quiz and find out. We're not sure it's absolutely accurate, but what the heck? Our staffers took it today. Staffer Mom is a Labrador Retriever and Staffer Dad is a Border Collie. Uncle Brad says he's a Jack Russell. We have no idea what it would take to be a dachshund, and we can't even think of anyone who could live up to those standards. If you know of someone, let us know. We'd like to meet them.

Pretenders & the kennel

The staff abandoned us this weekend. They said they were going on a "road trip" and kept singing "Boogie-Oogie-Oogie" and said something about Alabama. They said they were going to some place named Boogie and Aunt Jenn and Uncle Brad would be there, as well as Aunt Meg and Uncle Eric.

All we know is that we ended up in the kennel. They tried to tell us it was a spa and we'd get manicures and pedicures, but it was just a kennel with toe nail clippers and no TV.

And it was bad enough that we had to share the weekend with two truly obnoxious Golden Retrievers named -- yes, it's true: Maggie and Bandit. Those two were too perky to live. All weekend they sucked up to the kennel staff and wanted to play ball and play in the water pool and chase a stuffed duck. Showoffs.

They tried to send those two hyper furballs out with Staffer Dad when he came to pick us up! The kennel staff actually took those 2 out there to him and left us just sitting there in the pen! We were pretty horrified.

Thankfully, Staffer Dad noticed they weren't us and sent them back to their pens (the dogs, not the kennel staff -- however we think it might have been better the other way).

So now we're home and the Staff still hasn't apologized. Maggie's already targeted a couple flower pots to knock over and Bandit's real sure he's going to pee on something good early tomorrow.

Yard work for us

The staff worked in the yard all weekend. They put new flowers in the ground in a couple places and pine straw mulch everywhere. It's taken us all week on morning and evening play time to clear off some of it.
We added a few holes around the new flowers until Staffer Mom made it rain on us. Every time she gets out that green hose and we get near the flowers, it starts raining. We're not sure how that works, but it always happens.
We really need to move more of that mulch -- that's where the frogs and moles hide, and it's just more work for us when we are looking for them.

Maggie's quest

Today, we found a web site that shows you what Maggie thinks she's going to look like after her diet is over. Apparently, you can get this design on a T-shirt, and Bandit thinks the staff should buy one for each of them to remind Maggie about how little she gets to eat.
(If you don't have a dachshund, you can find skeledogs of any kind at skeledogs.com.)

Also, the vet has recommended the staff give Maggie small carrots as snackie treats. Aunt Lesley says her dog will eat them IF they've been dipped in beef bouillon. Well, heck, we can think of lots of things that will taste better dipped in beef stock!

Anyone got a better low-cal idea?

Life's a Maggie

From Bandit: It's been a long weekend, not because we haven't had fun, but because Maggie's on a diet. The result of all this is that Miss Priss has gone from being a plain ol' brat to something that's way beyond surly.
She growls when we sit on our pillow. She's grumpy when we go outside. In the house, she continuously sweeps through the kitchen looking for food. At night, for snackie treat time, she only gets a half-piece now. Granted, as Staffer Dad says, "she doesn't know half from Shinola." But she's pretty certain she's been shorted.
Well, all I know is that she's been taking up too much space and now she's tough to deal with. I think I'll ask to go to work with Staffer Mom tomorrow.

Welcome Yuki!

Yuki the Spotted Dog has joined the blog world. Careful readers may remember Yuki helped her valet, Aunt Laurie, win the Bandit Challenge during the NCAA basketball tournament. And Yuki did it with a broken paw...from jumping up and down stairs. We see that as an admirable way to break something, so we feel bad about her current stint in "time out."
The staff keeps saying to quit calling Yuki a Spotted Dog, but that's what she is. They call her a Dalmation or "fire truck dog" or "beer truck dog." But to us, she's got polka dots and we think that's fun. (We have a spotted dachshund on the wall in our house, so dots are very cool.)

Welcome Yuki!
(We've linked her blog on our blog faves on the left of our page. It's a fine collection, and you should check each one out.)

Cats get special privileges

We've been reading Fierce Bebe's blog lately -- you might recognize Fierce Bebe from the smart comments she makes on our blogs. (She seems to like us.)
Today, she's written about her cat Scruffy, who seems to be in charge at her house. We understand that he gets to sit on the coffee table, and pretty much anywhere he wants. It's that way at our house, too. Ernie gets away with everything. He sleeps in our bed, on our pillows -- sometimes with us, in the bed with the staff and can come and go as he pleases. We aren't allowed near his food bowl at all.
Bebe thinks cats share their evil ideas. Maybe they do. She says she might use aluminum foil to keep him from getting ideas. We've heard that if you wrap a cat completely in plastic wrap, they'll quit bothering you. Not sure why that might work, but we hear it does. Maybe a plastic grocery bag would do. We're not sure if you should leave their head sticking out or not.
(We wouldn't do it to Ernie, but there's a cat down the street who's just asking for it.)

Sunday in the park

From Bandit: Went to the park for the monthly Savannah Dachshund Club meet. I got to ride in the car with the top down and stick my nose right up in the air. And Mom took me to a drive-through at Sonic when it was over! She made me wear a seatbelt, but since she was wearing one, too, I guess it's ok.

I met some old friends and new ones today. Longfellow was there, and I got to meet Vinny Pie and Percy and Schlitz. There were two other long-haired dachshunds, but they didn't stay long enough for a good sniff. Oh well. Maybe next month.

Here is a link to pictures from the park and my new friends.

Maggie didn't get to come, so the day was complete!