It's so cold.....

As many of you know, it's pretty cold here this week.
Yes, we've seen low temperatures before, but not here. No way. In fact, we didn't think the staff would ever move us anywhere freezing again because they don't like it much either.

You're probably asking "How cold is it?"
Glad you asked.

It's so cold:
- The grass cracks when we walk on it.
- Staffer Mom told us not to lick our metal food dishes.
- Ernie the cat had to defrost a freshly killed mouse last night. (He left it on the window sill.)
- We have to break the water before we can drink it.
- Our food is a little extra-crunchy.
- Bandit leaves icicles when he takes a break next to his favorite bush.
- We can see steam coming off our poo.
And,
- We can't roll in deer pee; we slide on it.

Nighttime can be funtime

Winter can be tough because it's cold, but for us, it's sometimes worse because it gets dark outside earlier. We can still smell all the good stuff, but it's harder to find our good holes and the neighbor's cat or chihuahua. It's also harder for the staff to figure out we've left the yard and gone exploring.

The other night, we discovered we could run into the neighbors' yards and their outside lights would turn on. Ernie the cat explained it to us: If you move in front of the special spotlights, they come on.

Then, we figured out that all five neighbors have one of those cool lights to scare off bad people and deer. (Doesn't work for deer -- we know that. Willis just thinks they are funny. He says they help him find the good plants to eat.)

Anyway, when it's time to go in the house, we can run away from Staffer Dad and set off the neighbors' spotlights. He tries to track us by following the lights that pop on across the back yards.

So that brings us to the new winter game: Turn on all five backyard lights before we get caught and have to go in. Maggie's up to 3 at a time and Bandit's managed all 5 once. We're considering a point system where each week's winner gets first roll in the fresh deer pee.

Staffer Dad is not amused.

Cold weather is here, and so are the deer

This week, it turned winter around here. Staffer Mom pulled out the blankets for the staff, and we got an extra blankie, too. All that thoughtfulness is nice, but we still had to go outside to do our business -- and it was below freezing.
Staffer Dad insists we go out and walk and stuff. Bandit doesn't like it, but he remembers when it was worse. When he lived in Kentucky and had to go out in the snow and dig a hole. He thought it was pretty neat since his poo would steam when it was really cold. He keeps trying to make it happen here in this yard. Maggie just keeps crawling up on Staffer Dad to snuggle.

The other big thing this week is that we have a pet deer. Staffer Mom doesn't like him at all because he ate all her new pansy plants, but we think he's cool. The staff couldn't figure out why we won't chase him out of the yard or even acknowledge his presence. It's probably a good thing they don't realize how long he's been living here. We see and smell him all the time. We roll in his pee a lot. We think he's now peeing exclusively in our yard just because we appreciate it so much.
He was here all weekend, and that's why Staffer Dad made us take a bath today.
Anyway, we like the deer and we're going to try to keep him.
Staffer Mom's not going to be happy about this. She'll have to deal: We've named it Willis.

Deer tales

Last night Staffer Dad was taking the trash out and he saw a bunch of deer. Big wow.
We see them all the time. They hang out in the side yard, eat mom's flowers and gossip. We hear them. They talk a lot about the neighbors -- they know everything about everyone in the area. We think it's pretty rude for them to look in windows, munch on rose bushes and push over trash cans, but they seem to enjoy it.
With the drought, they don't have a lot to eat right now, so they need some entertainment. We hope it rains soon; they're getting a little petty.

A bad weekend

It's me, Maggie, and I'm having a terrible weekend.
Here's the summary:
- It was hot.
- A big thing in the side yard scared me and I ran away.
- I got a bath.
- The backdoor neighbors shot off loud fireworks.
- I had to hide from the lawnmower.

If you want details: Yesterday it was hot outside, and mom and dad weren't outside very much. That means we weren't either. Except that apparently they thought we needed a bath. I don't know why. It was awful. Now I smell terrible -- I'd worked all week to roll in this new smell in the yard. Mom sprays her roses with stuff to keep deer away, and I don't understand it because it smells really, really good like deer pee.

And that begs the question: Why would that keep deer away? Seems to me that would just be saying "Hey deer: We have a really good party over here! You should bring some beer and come on over!"

Anyway, I had that stuff all over me and I smelled really nice for a few days. Mom wouldn't let me in the house much at night, and she wouldn't let me scratch my back on the living room rug. So then Dad gave us a bath. And today, dad mowed the yard and I couldn't go out in the yard because the big bag thing makes too much noise and I just don't know where it's going to go. I've seen big sticks go up in that thing and never come out.

Bandit likes baths. I hate him.