Oh to be a roller dog!

From Maggie: I gave my staffers the night off, and they went to roller derby night to see the Savannah Derby Devils. And they didn't take me, and I'm not real happy about that now that I know where they've been.
For the record, I love roller derby. If I had skates, I'd be really good, too, like my favorite Devil Fear Abby. I don't have elbows, so I wouldn't have a problem with fouls. I'd be able to cut between skaters' legs and really cause a pile-up. I'd be a great jammer, too, squirting in and out of the pack.
I'm getting a devil costume. Once I get a derby name, no one can stop me.
P.S. If I get enough suggestions, maybe I'll make a new poll and you can vote on them.