Venus is back and so are we

It's U.S. Open time, and we are so glad the staff let us watch the opening night matches.
It's not that we were tired of Little League Baseball, but we really were. We didn't want to tell Staffer Mom, but we really didn't care what happened to those kids. A couple times, it was clear one of those teams could've fielded a whole lot better if they'd had a wiener dog for a shortstop.

By the way, we're watching a little differently this year. Bandit's lost all but a little of his peripheral vision, so Maggie's having to do some play-by-play commentary. She's focusing on Venus' tennis wear and doing a lousy job of giving the score. Bandit depends on Staffer Mom for the score and associated noises with great shots.
Careful readers know how much we love the Williams Sisters, so starting our viewing time with Venus tonight is a good omen for the rest of the week.

Hurricane leaves lazy day

So we've been waiting for days on this big Irene storm that was supposed to come through here and make a lot of noise. Nada. Nothing.
Apparently this Irene thing went on up north where the Yankees live. Hope they can deal with it. We've done our share of storms, and we really don't intend to do any more if we can help it.  One of them cost us our fave doghouse a few years ago, and we still aren't too happy about that.

In the meantime, the staff's been hanging around. Staffer Dad was so bored he decided we needed a bath.  Really? Surely there are other things to do.  Doesn't the cat need his claws trimmed or something? We'd be happy to help with that.

Fun time!

We're recuperating from two great weekends -- one with Aunt Audrey and one where we didn't get a bath!

Aunt Audrey came and played with us -- she even sent a few Cheerios our way the other morning when the staff wasn't looking . We know she was just looking after us since they were of the multigrain variety. It was fun having her here. She understands dachshunds.

And this weekend, we played until it was too hot outside. The staff made us come in and forgot it was bath time! Staffer Dad told us last night our luck wasn't going to last -- he said we smelled already. We resent that. Even the Kitten says it's not true, and he's got reason to lie. We kicked him off Blue Pillow twice in two days.

The long weekend

Yes, it's a holiday weekend, and we really weren't sure what was going to happen since Staffer Mom declared Wimbledon over for us when the Williams Sisters lost. But, things are looking better.

Today the staff took off and left us all day. They went somewhere requiring a ferry ride and time on an island with feral horses and wild boars. Whatever. We were prepared for the day to be a wild bore when they put us in the bathroom with the dreaded gate between us and the house. The stupid Kitten teased us from the other side until we figured out how to break out -- and then we were in charge.

We played for a while, chased Kitten a lot, and napped on Blue Pillow. When the staff finally got home, all we wanted to do was pee. They were pretty horrified to find us roaming free. Oh well. That's what they get for leaving us.

Now we hear Aunt Audrey's coming to visit, so this weekend shows much promise after all. She might feed us off the table!

Spiritual therapy for pets | savannahnow.com

Spiritual therapy for pets | savannahnow.com

It's Wimbledon time!

All in all it's been a good weekend -- the staff was around a lot, our friend Jake is here -- and we didn't get a bath. Best of all, there's Wimbledon.

Faithful readers will know how much we love the major tennis tournaments. It's Wimbledon time and the Williams sisters are IN.

Maggie loves Venus -- she's stylish and tough. Bandit prefers Serena's tough, competitive nature. Tennis-ball activities have long been favorites of ours, and we know how hard it is to play with them. The William sisters know how to make it happen.

We're sorry about Roddick's loss, and we can't wait to see what shapes up with Nadal and Federer. In the meantime, serve'em up Serena and Venus!

Enough of the Weiner jokes

We're really fed up with all the ruckus about Rep. Anthony Weiner. We've even heard someone call him a hound.

That's an insult to all of us who are really wiener dogs and hounds. Granted, he'd be lucky to be one of us. At least we have sense enough not to take pics of our parts and sent them out of Twitter. Geez.

Enough. Find another news story. Move on.

Hospital sleepovers and tourney time

From Maggie: We had a few scary days this week. Bandit felt really awful on Wednesday and the staff made him go to the Emergency Clinic. We didn't know what was wrong, but Bandit said he had a tummy ache and wouldn't move or eat. He said he was cold, too, and the nice vet said he had a really high fever, so he had a sleepover there.

The next day the staff took him to see our fave vets at Case Veterinary Hospital where Dr. Witherow poked and prodded him a lot. He must've liked it there, too, because he had another sleepover and Staffer Dad said Dr. Witherow stayed with him some.

In the meantime, I got lots of attention, which was OK but I didn't have anyone to snuggle with at all. I usually sleep with Bandit and he keeps me warm. Next time he's gone, the staff really needs to think about letting me sleep with them.

From Bandit: I've been away for a few days, and it sure is nice to be home. Dr. Witherow says I had some sort of infection. Staffer Mom lets me have extra treats with my pills. Staffer Dad takes me outside regularly and hovers a lot. I think he's still worried about me, and I wish he'd quit watching me poop.

From Maggie and Bandit: The best part about being home now is that it's ACC tournament time and the basketball is the best. The tournament is an important tradition in our house. Downside is that very little gets done and sometimes we have to walk around a lot and head-butt someone to get the staff to pay attention enough to let us outside when we have to go.

Whether the Tar Heels win or lose, it's a good time to stay on Blue Pillow in front of the TV. Granted, Bandit can't see much, but we always know who's winning by the noises Staffer Mom makes. We know enough to keep our paws out of her jump radius, too. A Tar Heel game can be a very dangerous time if we're not paying attention. We think the only thing that should be in danger is a Dookie.

Lame staff antics

Can you believe the staffers were trying to decide whether to watch The Oscars or Tar Heel basketball?
The Oscars will last all night anyway. They can catch up.

We've made it pretty clear we'd take action if we didn't hear some basketball on the TV ASAP. There's a freshly cleaned rug in there just waiting for our statement.

...And there's Tyler Zeller on the tube right now. That's better.

(And no worry -- we do care about The Oscars. After the game, we'll check to find out how SlinkyDog's movie fares...we're fans!)

Stupid human rules

We weren't going to blog again today, but Staffer Mom showed us an upsetting news story and we had to share. Can you believe the city won't let the Girl Scouts sell cookies in front of the Juliette Gordon Low House?  Click here.
They're Girl Scouts! The sell cookies to fund their activities. It's what they do.

Humans can certainly make a lot of stupid rules.  Reminds us of the stupid rules the staff gives us: no digging in the garden even when we know there are moles in there, no letting Skeeter Kitten go outside even when we know he should be out there permanently, telling us not to scratch or lick in front of company or eat out of the cat food bowl.
We're dogs! It's what we do.

Notes from the lowdogs' week

Hello!
We're so glad to be back and writing again! And, we're so happy to heave heard from our Navy buddies, Skipper, Cricket and Pretzel. They have a new friend, too, Mandy. They also let us know they got a Kackel Dackel game for Christmas...we're pretty jealous of that. They also donated one to DRNA for auction and helped fund placement for homeless dachshunds. Great idea!
(If you want to see how those cool games work, check the link in the previous post.)

We've also been playing outside more. It's been a cold, wet winter and that wasn't much fun. But the past few weekends have been great! The staff let us stay out until dark several times, and we've left them a few holes to fill when they are out there.

Also, we've been watching a lot of basketball. You know we love our Tar Heels, so Staffer Dad does play-by-play for Bandit during games. Today, though, he made us come in the house for a Missouri State game. He says they won a championship and we're glad for his Bears, but our heart belongs to the Heels.
And, we're ready needed outside. It past time to discuss bird feeder vandalism with the nasty neighbor squirrels.

Games we can play

So, we learned today from our friend Clarence about a dachshund game you have to buy.
Here's the link.

We'd play this for free if you'll give us some treats!

All dachshunds are works of art

Picasso had a soft spot for dachshunds -- rightfully so.
Here's more proof of it in the NY Times arts blog. Check it out.


Now we've got to convince the staff to get us some designer plates. Those stainless steel bowls aren't going to cut it anymore.

Happy Wiener Dog New Year!

Wow! It's been half a year since we last posted, and we're really sorry about that. Oh, and we're blaming the staff.

They've been pretty lame -- we don't always need their help, but we do need access to computers, good wi-fi and some quality attention. They also get distracted easily and have found many reasons not to help us out. We're not sure they should even be called "staff" at this point. We've regained our computer privileges, and we've been shamed by Aunt Audrey for not posting.

So, here's a recap since summer:
- We didn't get to go to the dachshund races. Again.
- Bandit's lost most of his eyesight. (He's officially got cataracts -- we don't understand why they aren't called "dogaracts," except that they are bad and that's probably why they are associated with cats instead of dogs.)
- Maggie has been at war with the Kitten, who is now called Skeeter.  The orange hellion steals Maggie's toys. He's going to pay.
- Ernie has been very sweet and squeals on Skeeter regularly, and he leaves us alone. He also tells us where to find his latest kills in the yard. We like Ernie. 
- The Kitten did not knock down the Christmas tree this year. We're all glad about that. The fallout from last year's incident affected all of us. The staff deemed us all untrustworthy for quite some time.
That's about it.

A couple other notes:
- Our friend Foster died last month. He lived with his foster and rescue friends at Miss Ellen's house. That made us sad. We're certain his friend, Henry, misses him very much. Henry has been sick, too, and Miss Ellen is taking very good care of him. We believe Foster is very happy now.
- Bandit can't really write much anymore, so most of what we say now will be from Maggie. He can still find a dead mole in the yard within 30 seconds of going through the screen door, but he's not able to type any more.
- One other thing: Aunt Linda has moved to town and now the staff is incorrigible. They stay out late, eat out all the time (lessening the possibility of floor food) and take stupid photos of us to text to her. 

So here we are at the new year. We've been thinking a lot about our resolutions, and we've decided not to have any. Making a resolution means we have to focus on those, and we just don't have the time. There's just too much to do -- don't need the stress.

If you made a resolution, let us know! We want to know what you're working on, so we can cheer you on!

Stupid humans, Ch. 1

So this guy in Russia thinks it would be fun to take his dachshund scuba diving. While we appreciate his wanting to spend more time with his canine, this was a bit too much for us when we heard the poor thing squeaking underwater.
Please.
Here's a video.
We think they probably quit filming after the dog came out of the water and tore the owner a new orafice. And we don't mean a hole in his wetsuit, either. 
Bet that made him squeak.

We saw the Wienermobile!

It's true! The staff took us on a great field trip this weekend!
We saw the official Wienermobile, or at least one of them.

While we weren't allowed to go inside, we did get to stand on the steps and we had our pictures taken with it.  Here are a few of the pics -- the best ones have the staff in them because they were helpful and lifted us up so we could see better. Staffer Dad also let Bandit sniff the back end of the giant hotdog, and Maggie got to look in through the windshield since she was told in no uncertain terms she couldn't drive.

The hotdog was parked in front of a Kroger, and of course we couldn't go in there either. Lots of people were hanging around, and we expected to come out of the deal with at least a munchie or two. But, it was a pretty clean parking lot. The Wienermobile's staff was really, really nice, and one of them even said she was from Staffer Dad's home state, Missouri. If you want to see more about the stop in Savannah, here's a video of the inside and other pics from savannahnow.com.

All good field trips are educational. Here's what we learned:

• There are eight total rolling wieners and six on the road. The other two are for back-up. You can learn more about the fleet here.
• The big wiener sits on a Chevy truck chasis. We wondered about that since it seemed roomy and nice.
• There is no chili or mustard or relish on it. Just a dog and a bun. The seats are mustard-colored, though.
• The way-cool celebrity meat vehicles winter in Wisconsin and head all over in the summer driven by students who call themselves "hotdoggers." They keep a blog, too.
• Wiener dogs who eat hot dogs are not cannibals. Hot dogs aren't made from wiener dogs. We were very glad to have that fact reinforced. The Kitten told us they were. But, thankfully, we learned that's not true. Wonder why he told us that?

Field trips are fun!

All right. We know.

We've been scarce lately. And we're sorry. It's been a little nuts since the stupid Kitten came to live with us. Bandit has lost a lot of his eyesight, and Maggie, well, she's still cranky as ever.
In other words, we're fine.

Summer's here and the staff is finally spending some time around the house. It's a holiday weekend, and we generally expect our annual road trip and some Wimbledon action. This week, they've got us all discombobulated. But we did get to go riding, so that's a start.

Who's up for some wiener-dog curling?

OK. It always seems like we're apologizing for taking a break, but it's been really darn cold, it snowed and we discovered a new sport to keep us mesmerized for the past two weeks.
We organized our naps and play around the basketball season until the Tar Heels imploded. It's not that we are fair-weather fans. We absolutely aren't -- but it became pretty painful to watch and we can only take so much.
We took our solace in the Winter Olympics and curling. Now that's a really great game, and we think it could be more popular if they'd listen to a few of our suggestions.
We're certain if you added a dachshund to each team, the swifter, more unpredictable movement would guarantee more sponsors and some serious cash and snackies for the players.
Let's face it: What's more entertaining than wiener dogs on ice? What if they were dodging 42-pound pieces of granite? Substitute dachshunds for at least one sweeper per team, and as they say, it would be a total game-changer!

P.S. We think more teams should look as sharp as the Norwegians.....those pants are the best!

A new perch!

We didn't think the staff would let us go without a place to nap, but we were unprepared for the way-cool pillow they brought us. It has a warm side and a cool one. It's fat and feels firm on our backs. It's Great!
We slept for 3 straight hours on it just to make sure it was the right one. We still miss Green Pillow's homey smell, but we'll get this one just right over time. Oh yeah.

R.I.P. Green Pillow

So this is how it ends.
We run into the room, and it's gone. Our dear Green Pillow.

It's true. It had lost its padding, cushioning for our backs. But it was still our safe place to run when we were in trouble. The staff always promised we'd never suffer consequences of our mischief if we ran to Green Pillow and stayed for a bit. We used it well.
The round mound has been our spot to view the world: We've welcomed new kittens, old friends and good parties. From there, we've cheered the Heels to championships, the Cardinals to the World Series and watched Serena take on Venus and line judges.
It's a warm place where we've snoozed for many, many hours on cold, rainy days.
And best of all, nothing in this world smelled like our friend, Green Pillow. And that is probably why it is now gone.

Rest in peace, Green Pillow.

Cold weather blues

We're not sure why it's cold outside, but we can attest that is and has been very cold. It's so cold the staff won't even make us stay out for our normal time in the evenings before bedtime. Staffer Mom says no beast should be out in this weather, and we're OK with that. We did suggest she let the Willis and his deer friends in the house, and she refused to consider it.
Maggie got a science lesson, too. Bandit remembers living in Kentucky where it stayed cold a lot. He said that pee will crack when it hit the cold stone outside the door, and it will! We've tried it several times now and so Staffer Mom says we have to go all the way off the walk before we can pee now. That's probably for the best anyway since the grass doesn't seem so cold.
It needs to get warm soon. We can only amuse ourselves in this cold for so long.

Home again, and the truth about Kitten

Whew.
It's been a wild week or so, and we're happy to be home with Green Pillow and our fave food bowls. It was a nice time, though. We met a new puppy friend, Gilmour. Our staff spent a bit more time than we thought was appropriate, but he did seem sweet enough.

When we got home, we found Kitten had just taken over.
He's a pain in our hides, and we're really very tired of his getting to be anywhere he wants and going places we're never allowed. We're posting a couple examples to prove the situation.

1- The Christmas tree. Yes, it was supposed to stand upright, and yes, the staff did decorate it. Staffer Mom was not amused.
2- Kitten in OUR laundry room. Note to selves: Find a way to get Staffer Dad to shut the lid. Even if we're too short to turn on the washer, he can sit in there for a bit and reflect on his behavior.

Many holiday miles

We've gotten some miles on us over the past weeks -- been through four different states in the limo, but the staff's avoided Alabama for once so that's a plus.

(Careful readers know Maggie's a 'Bama native, so we can't be too harsh. But, when she has particularly impertinent days, Bandit's fond of saying "You can take the girl out of Phenix City......")

Anyway, we had a very nice visit with grandma, Aunt Audrey and Cousin Ellen in NC. Ellen is pretty cool because she's got a long dog, too, named Duncan. It's a Corgi, and we accept those as extended family. (Extended...get it?)

Now we're at the beach. It's raining, so that makes the walks a bit shorter because Staffer Dad doesn't like water on his head and he can't handle us and an umbrella. The beach trip was nice -- we got to stop at our fave walk area at the Osceola Forest. We stopped once other time at Staffer Mom's fave truck stop near Tallahassee (good coffee). That was the best! We found gum in the parking lot near the car. Staffer Mom wasn't very happy about that, but it was good stuff. Peppermint, maybe.

It might clear off tomorrow, so we'll be walking more. It's been windy here, and we saw some overturned trash cans down the street. Score!

Holiday fun

We can tell it's nearly Christmas because the staff's dragging out the holiday boxes and stuff. They also keep leaving the Santa and Elf costumes for us out where we can see them. Like that's going to make us put them on.
Staffer Mom put a Holly Elf collar on Kitten the other night -- he even acted like he liked it. What a suck-up! We had to give him a bit of respect later when he took the Santa hat and hid it under the bed. He was right -- she was going to try that on him next.
Yesterday the staff hung wreaths on the windows and doors. Today they put out poinsettias in the house where we can't get to them (no fun there) and it looks like they are about to drag in a tree.
We've already told Kitten how much fun it is to climb a fully decorated Christmas tree and bite the lights. He seems excited about the possibility.
Was that wrong?

Thanksgiving reading

We've been doing a lot of reading this weekend -- Grandma was here, and she played with us a lot, but she also was gone shopping a lot, too. The blogosphere is amazing right now. Our buddies Joey and Maggie over at The Long and Short of It are posting terrific stuff constantly. Who knew Gypsy Rose Lee had a dachshund? We were thrilled to find out!
They also posted the classic scene -- Staffer Dad's absolute fave -- from Pink Panther..."Does your dog bite?" If you've seen it, you know. And the Dachshund Dude's Twitter feed keeps us hopping! If you tweet, check him out.

We found this blog, too. It seems appropriate, and we feel like turkeys for not mentioning Thanksgiving. We're thankful for a lot of stuff, and we should say it.

We're thankful for Staffers Mom and Dad, Grandma, moles, green pillow, popcorn, our great aunts and uncles, Ernie (not Kitten), computers, our blogger buddies, plastic monkey, warm blankies and snackies.
It's time we said it.

A break, sharing staff and pirates

We spent a week at the spa -- and yes, there was a bit of trickery involved. Maggie ended up getting some dental work and Bandit got a few needles. Nothing big -- turns out he's just getting old. All that said, the treats there were good, so we really didn't have any complaints. The staff needed a break from us, so it all worked out.

The last few weeks have been all right. It's getting darker earlier, so we don't get as much good dig time in the evenings. The kitten is bigger now, and he's a lot more annoying. He keeps trying to sleep in our beds and pushing his toys under furniture and turning on the sad eyes so the staff will rush to his aid. We're really not sure where our staff became his staff. What's with that?

We think Staffer Mom's been feeling a little bad about all of this. Today, she's letting us watch all three "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies, so it's a pretty fair trade at this point. Maggie loves Johnny Depp, and the undead monkey gets raves from Bandit.

Ok. We're at the spa.

The staff took us to the spa the other day and they haven't returned yet. We don't think they are abandoning us here, but there are worse places. Last time we were here, we got shots and some good treats. This time the staff here is playing with us, let's us talk to them and gives us our meals ON TIME.
Maggie's a bit concerned it's a trick. Bandit says it's a good gig and we should just roll with it.
Truthfully, we miss our staffers, but we'd rather be stuck here with Dr. Carla and Dr. Miranda...they know us and there's no way they'd trick us. Right?

Slinky Dog gets his due

It's taken three movies, and finally Slinky Dog gets top billing in the next "Toy Story" movie. The poster proves it.

For years, that cowboy who talks like Tom Hanks and those other stupid toys have dominated the screen time in "Toy Story." Finally, our kind gets some appreciation. And he's been around a long time -- the first Slinky Dog goes back to the '50s, or before our staff was even born. We think the voice of Slinky Dog was better when Jim "Ernest" Varney did it, but we'll like the new guy OK.

Want to update your education on Slinky Dog? Here's the Wikipedia entry.

Behave or get busted

We've been reading some this week and wanted to share some of what we found.

Here's a story about a wiener friend who had to be rescued while being rescued. You've got to give her props for making everyone focus on her for a bit. We're glad she's not hanging out on the airfield anymore, and we hope she and her pup found a good home.

Also, here's this interesting blog we found the other day. We thought it was pretty funny. Up to a point.
No biting.

This has to stop

With the racing season over, we're back to our normal lives -- or what used to be normal before the kitten came.
He's growing up and thinks he one of us. It's a real pain. He's everywhere.
Last night, he slept between us on our blankies in the bedroom, and now he's trying to take over green pillow in the den. He has tons of toys all over the house, and now this.

How do we convince him he's got to earn a spot with us? Any suggestions? We don't want to resort to biting.

People who love wiener dogs are the best

Staffer Mom's gotten a lot of good notes since the race from dachshunds and their staffers who were there. Lots of people and dogs had fun, and that's what matters.

One family drove from Maryland and wanted her to know how much fun they had on the trip and during the race. They say they'll be back next year.
Another family drove from across the state and said they loved the city and the race, too.

One wiener's staffer helped out another couple by sitting outside with the wieners while the couple went in to a restaurant for a nice lunch. The couple appreciated her kindness so much, they bought her a lunch gift certificate.

And that's our point: Wiener dogs and their staffers have special bonds only other wieners and staffers understand. And that's that.