We are back (OK, out of timeout)

First of all: We're sorry.
Second: We are making a public apology to Ernie. We didn't really mean to knock over the cat food tower (right), and we're pretty sure we weren't the ones who put cat food all over the den and dining room. If we didn't, it was truly an accident because we truly believe in immediately picking up any food we drop. (Sometimes we even fight to see who gets to snarf it up!)
Here's what happened: Staffer Mom filled up the self-feeding cat food tower, and we got a little excited and at some point it went flying across the kitchen and food went everywhere.
We admit mouthing off a bit about Ernie even needing a self-feeder and if she didn't want us to taste it it shouldn't be on the floor...yadda, yadda.
Basically, she told us we couldn't blog again until she quit finding food in the rugs and floorboards across three different rooms and until we figured out how to share our toys and when we quit digging up her new bed of pansies.
And then she wouldn't let us try to help by sniffing out the strewn food -- one of our more refined skills, she had to pull out the sucking vacuum cleaner thing and it never works right....anyway...more than you wanted to know.

But we're back.
Staffer Mom says that the first day of Tar Heel basketball season is special one and all household shenanigans are forgiven for another year. We are really glad every year when that day comes.
Go Heels!

Toy joy!

It's been raining all day, and it's really wet. We can't go outside, so we have to play inside. The staff is too busy doing stuff around the house and we have to find other entertainment.
Bandit's favorite game is to sit calmly on his pillow and then sneak off to steal cat food from Ernie's bowl. The staffers hate that and we think it's funny.
Maggie has toys, and they require protection. There's the formerly-stuffed duck and purple toy. Purple toy is her favorite because it's the oldest and it smells really good. Staffer Mom wants to wash it, but we won't let her. Why does she always try to wash our stuff? Can anyone help us with this?

Sport cooking is stupid

With all our recent kerfluffles over food, you'd think we'd understand Staffer Mom's preoccupation with cooking competition shows like "Next Iron Chef" and "Top Chef." We absolutely do not.
While other people apparently watch movies and talk about the plots and characters and symbolism, she tries to figure out which chef is getting psyched out by the judges and which ones are sabotaging the others. She says she learns from watching their creativity. We think it's because she just likes food and chaos.
And, we're pretty sure those shows are why she goes shopping and brings home really sharp knives now instead of sweaters. And we're certain that the gingerbread house competition she watched the other night was the reason she bought a piece of metal that she calls "The Coolest Cookie Sheet Ever!" Apparently cookies will slide right off of it. Whoopee. We'd be more impressed if she'd let one slide off on the floor now and then.
Staffer Dad says for us not to worry until she starts trying to find recipes for Stuffed Wieners or Grilled Purple Toy.

Ernie's turn

It's Ernie: The dogs are outside on the porch where they belong. I'm tired of their barky crap. If I could reach the keys, I'd just lock them on the porch all night. Every time George the neighbor goes in or out, they act like they've never seen him before. And he's nice to them, too.

Last night, they stayed in the bedroom for a while, and all Maggie did was growl over her purple toy. Poor Bandit couldn't even get any peace and ended up trying to hide from her. I really don't understand why she gets that way, and I surely don't understand how Bandit puts up with it. When we lived at our old house, she'd chase him across the yard and try to herd him like he's a cow or something. She's really a bitch.

Grumpy boy and nothing for us

From Maggie: We spent a day with dad, and he got mad at us because Bandit kept trying to steal my favorite toy. He just kept looking at me. I had to fight back. He was so grumpy that I couldn't even snuggle with him without him barking at me. It's my toy, though.

And another thing: Mom got home and didn't even bring us anything. She brought Dad some pizza from some place he likes, but nothing for us. She stayed with Seamus and Sidda and only brought pictures back of their parents. They do have a cool house in Bibb City. Mom says they even have a toilet in the guest room. I can't figure out why that's a big deal.

I'm really happy to hear Sidda's still figuring our how to get out from Uncle Brad's new fence. She's keeping up the tradition for us all. We did have kind of a breakthrough on Saturday when we found a hole in the backdoor neighbor's fence. Now we can go all the way over to the next street before we get caught. Mom's a bit irritated by that, but again, that's what she gets for not bringing us anything from her trip.

Mom's back

From Bandit: Mom came back late from her road trip, and we were really glad to see her. Dad was gone some, and then he came home and we watched him watch a ballgame. He cursed a lot, and we think his team lost. But he dropped a lot of corn chips, so that was good. Then it was bedtime and we went to the bedroom with him. He was going to let us sleep in the house! Mom usually makes us go to the laundry room. She says we make too much noise.

Well, dad went to sleep and Maggie blew it for both of us. She had her stupid purple toy and every time I'd look at it she'd snap and growl. It's a stupid purple round piece of cloth, and you'd think it was a dead bird or something. Then she'd try to make nice and come over and crawl on my pillow and I'd be forced to bark her back. She just couldn't leave me alone. Finally, dad yelled at us and made us go to the laundry room. Maggie's a bitch. I'm going to go dig up a mole hole.