From Bandit: Mom came back late from her road trip, and we were really glad to see her. Dad was gone some, and then he came home and we watched him watch a ballgame. He cursed a lot, and we think his team lost. But he dropped a lot of corn chips, so that was good. Then it was bedtime and we went to the bedroom with him. He was going to let us sleep in the house! Mom usually makes us go to the laundry room. She says we make too much noise.
Well, dad went to sleep and Maggie blew it for both of us. She had her stupid purple toy and every time I'd look at it she'd snap and growl. It's a stupid purple round piece of cloth, and you'd think it was a dead bird or something. Then she'd try to make nice and come over and crawl on my pillow and I'd be forced to bark her back. She just couldn't leave me alone. Finally, dad yelled at us and made us go to the laundry room. Maggie's a bitch. I'm going to go dig up a mole hole.