Pressure-washer weekend

Staffer Mom has a new toy. She got a pressure washer to knock the mildew off the house, and she's found she can do that and more. In fact, we think she likes it a little too much. For instance, she can shoot our food dishes 50 feet across the yard, and she can knock pine cones off the roof with a stream of water. We don't even want to think what it might do to us if she decides we need a bath. We won't even be able to hide under the patio chairs.

However, we can think of a few things we'd like to use it for:
1) Shoot squirrels our of the trees. They're just plain fussy this time of year.
2) Knock the dog treat can off the backyard table. If it hits the ground, it's ours.
3) Launch the side-neighbor Jane's chihuahua across the rose bushes and back into its own yard. Need we say more?

If she'll quit threatening us with it, we're going to like this thing.

Real dogs don't squeak

Staffer Mom's been home for a couple days. And while we like the decent service we're getting, she's really cramping our style. We have to stay in the yard and we have to stop barking at things we can't see or Ernie or George.
Today we discovered the side neighbor Jane has a new puppy named Tia. It's a 12-week-old chihuahua that would fit in our smallest food dish. She lets it run around on a leash outside her front door. It seemed nice enough, and all we wanted to do was say hello. We swear.
Anyway, the little mouse-looking thing thought we were going to eat it and it squeaked really loud and its staff came running out. Staffer Mom came running from the yard, and it got really out of hand. The little thing was shaking like creme-colored Jell-o, and Maggie thinks it peed on itself when it saw Bandit. We don't know what happened after that because Mom made us go in the house and stay on the porch.
Here's the thing: If it's really a dog, it needs to act like one. It didn't even have fur.