Wow, What a Find!!!!

From Bandit: Boy, what a great night this was!!! When Staffer Dad let us out, I went behind George's house and found the best snackie treat ever - a great big bird!!!! He was just lying there. I think Ernie must have been playing with him and left him behind for me. He (the bird, not Ernie) was tasty. I brought the bird back to the yard, but when Staff Dad saw it, he called me by my first and last names, so I knew I was in trouble. But I didn't care because it was really good. Staffer Dad said he didn't like the crunching noise it made when I bit its head, and he tried to take it away from me. But wouldn't let him have it. It's now buried in a really safe place. Boy what a great night this was.

From Maggie: Birds are gross and Bandit's a pig.

Real dogs don't squeak

Staffer Mom's been home for a couple days. And while we like the decent service we're getting, she's really cramping our style. We have to stay in the yard and we have to stop barking at things we can't see or Ernie or George.
Today we discovered the side neighbor Jane has a new puppy named Tia. It's a 12-week-old chihuahua that would fit in our smallest food dish. She lets it run around on a leash outside her front door. It seemed nice enough, and all we wanted to do was say hello. We swear.
Anyway, the little mouse-looking thing thought we were going to eat it and it squeaked really loud and its staff came running out. Staffer Mom came running from the yard, and it got really out of hand. The little thing was shaking like creme-colored Jell-o, and Maggie thinks it peed on itself when it saw Bandit. We don't know what happened after that because Mom made us go in the house and stay on the porch.
Here's the thing: If it's really a dog, it needs to act like one. It didn't even have fur.

Another good cat?

While we sometimes joke about getting Ernie locked in George the Neighbor's garage, we do like him. And today we got a picture of another cat we think we'd like: Bisquick. He's the orange tabby in the photo.
He stays at Aunt Allison's house and apparently gets to eat a lot. Reminds us of our old friend Ozzie. He died some time back, and he was Huge. He weighed as much as Bandit. We liked him because we could put our noses under his belly and make it jiggle. He's the black and white cat in the other picture. And No, that's not how he died. (Be nice.) He liked to sleep like that.
Anyway, Bisquick is nowhere close to being as big as the late, great Ozzie. But then again, neither is the Goodyear blimp.

Ernie runs naked -- again

We're laughing tonight because Ernie's in trouble. A few days ago, he got his third new collar in a year. Staffer Mom put his new tags on it and told him to quit losing it. Well, today he came home without it. Now he's running around with no collar and no tags. And, he's in trouble with the staff.
We wonder where he's losing them. George's garage? The hole in the fence? The big culvert under the road? Somewhere around here there's a place with a bunch of reflective collars with bells and tags on them.
Ernie doesn't care, but he will if animal control gets a call and shows up again before the staffers get a chance to buy him yet another collar. Anyone got a phone book?

Outside, inside

From Maggie: Well, we've been on the porch or outside all weekend. Mom came home early Friday, and we got to go outside early to play. We chased some squirrels, visited George the Neighbor and had a lot of fun in the back yard. Bandit went into the bushes, but never could figure out what was in there making a lot of noise. We tried to talk to it, but it wouldn't answer.

I guess Mom thought we were too noisy because she made us sit on the porch for the rest of the afternoon and took Ernie the Cat inside with her. She wouldn't let us in at all. Ernie made faces at us through the window. I'll get him for that later. I know where he likes to hide things, and it'd be too bad if they smelled like dog pee when comes to get them.

Godzilla! No wieners!

It's Ernie the cat: Yep, it's my turn. Wiener dogs are outside, and I'm inside. (Purr.) Mom threw them on the porch because they wouldn't quit yapping. She came home early from work yesterday with a stomach virus. (I figured that out when I jumped on her stomach and she nearly launched me across the room.)
She thought she'd let the dogs have some outside playtime since she was home, but they yapped at George the Neighbor, squirrels, a school bus, Something They Heard in the Bushes But Couldn't See, and the ceiling fan. She made them stay on the porch until dad came home.
I got to stay with her on the sofa, since she was feeling really bad.
She felt better when she realized that there were 5 Godzilla movies free on cable this month and one of them was Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla -- it has a visit from Mothra and the twins as well as a psychic who can communicate with the big spikey guy.
I'm on mom's lap, the wieners are outside and there's a Godzilla movie on.
All is right with the world. (Purr.)

Ernie's turn

It's Ernie: The dogs are outside on the porch where they belong. I'm tired of their barky crap. If I could reach the keys, I'd just lock them on the porch all night. Every time George the neighbor goes in or out, they act like they've never seen him before. And he's nice to them, too.

Last night, they stayed in the bedroom for a while, and all Maggie did was growl over her purple toy. Poor Bandit couldn't even get any peace and ended up trying to hide from her. I really don't understand why she gets that way, and I surely don't understand how Bandit puts up with it. When we lived at our old house, she'd chase him across the yard and try to herd him like he's a cow or something. She's really a bitch.