As many of you know, it's pretty cold here this week.
Yes, we've seen low temperatures before, but not here. No way. In fact, we didn't think the staff would ever move us anywhere freezing again because they don't like it much either.
You're probably asking "How cold is it?"
Glad you asked.
It's so cold:
- The grass cracks when we walk on it.
- Staffer Mom told us not to lick our metal food dishes.
- Ernie the cat had to defrost a freshly killed mouse last night. (He left it on the window sill.)
- We have to break the water before we can drink it.
- Our food is a little extra-crunchy.
- Bandit leaves icicles when he takes a break next to his favorite bush.
- We can see steam coming off our poo.
- We can't roll in deer pee; we slide on it.