'Bye Chanel

Today's inspiring dachshund story comes from NYC, where Chanel the wire-haired dachshund had her last day. Many of you may remember the world's oldest dog is a dachshund, and she is now gone. Here's her final story.

One other thing to note on that page: Friday is Take Your Dog to Work Day. Sadly, we don't think our staff will let us go with them.

Digging, sniffing and a bath all in a weekend

The title of today's blog pretty much sums up our weekend. We did a lot of snoozing, too, but felt more strongly about the other three. Staffer Dad took Bandit on a ride to the gas station, so that was big, too.
We spent the rest of the afternoon checking in on the Wiener Nationals -- lots of prep and great dogs were running. Here's the link to one of our favorite blogs where they've posted lots of reports, photos and videos.
Don't forget: The Savannah Wiener Dog Races are coming soon!
Happy Wiener Weekend!

Race time's coming!

Today we learned it's time for the annual WIENER DOG RACES!
We invite all our buddies to bring it!

Your staffers can help -- they can design artwork to be used on the official T-shirts and logo. Here's the info on that. It's sponsored by the Savannah Morning News and savannahnow.com. We're really excited about all of this!

Preregistration starts after Labor Day, and we're hoping to get to go this year. Usually the staff volunteers (the money goes to Dachshund Rescue of North America and other animal assistance charities) and they can't take us and work, too. We're hoping they'll figure out how to do it all this year.

So, we're asking all of you to let them know if we should go. We need your support!

We know, we know!

It's been awhile. Really a month and a half or so, it just feels like a long time. (Maggie, right, slept through it all.)

There's been a lot of digging, mud and raccoon break-ins. The staff's been keeping us busy since they took vacation, and the raccoon(s) out back are still breaking into the porch on random nights to eat our dog food. It's annoying, but we do get to help clean up by snarfing up a lot of the spilled food.

Vacation snooze

We've been due for some time out after having to deal with the kitten for a few weeks. The staff obliged this weekend.
They took us to our favorite place: the beach.

We've spent most of our time wisely, sleeping, walking and watching Wimbledon. Aunt Jenn has been around to run us through some Yoga practice -- we prefer the term Doga, but whatever. At left, you'll see a move Maggie likes to call Downward Facing Dog Facing Dog.

Today, we get to chase birds off the deck!

Raccoons ate our food

A few weeks ago, the staff got the bright idea to get new containers for our canine cuisine. The stackable bins would sit on the back porch, and they'd be convenient each morning and night for the staff to get our dinner to us faster. And, they'd be out of the house and away from Ernie's prying paws.

Then the staff noticed odd things moved each morning on the porch, and our brunch munch started disappearing. And, our water dishes were nasty each morning. Two days ago, the staff used bungee cords to hold the lids shut on the food bins. The next morning, dog food was everywhere on the porch.

This could only mean one thing: The raccoon family had returned. Apparently, they've been coming in each night, grabbing a free Science Diet dinner and washing it in our water bowls.

So now the cool food bins are sitting in the middle of the house, and Staffer Mom's trying to make the latch on the back porch work again. That's not going to help. We're pretty sure the masked bandits are coming in and leaving through Ernie's cat door.

Should we tell them, or let Ernie take the fall? Tough call.

NOT BILLY MAYS!

(Sorry for the screaming headline, but we thought it might be appropriate.)

Just yesterday we were yelling at the kitten to get away from the TV while the Billy Mays ESPN commercial was on.
We liked Billy -- he improved our quality of life when he convinced Staffer Mom to buy OxiClean. She was able to clean up after us faster and better and that kept us from getting in trouble so much. We tested his pitch about stains from spilled wine, and it works. However, Staffer Mom's never letting us get near a full wine glass again.
RIP, Billy.

Kittens and tennis don't mix

We've discovered we have common ground with the kitten -- he apparently likes tennis. Too much so, if you ask us. He won't get out of the way. Because everyone lets him play with everything, he thinks he can play at Wimbledon, too. He's also developed an affinity for Andy Roddick.



Today was our first full day of watching Wimbledon this year. Staffer Mom was good enough to leave the TV on for us while the staff was doing other things.
Now we've got to figure out how to keep the kitten away from the TV. Bandit thinks we should just be patient. When kitten starts that crap when "Law&Order" is on, the staff will take care of the whole problem.

'Bye Michael

You may not realize it, but we are real music lovers. And we can sing -- we'll make a video for you some time.

Bandit's a real fan of Michael Jackson, because one time Michael came to Pensacola for several weeks while Bandit was young and he remembers the craziness. Michael ate flowers and went shopping a lot at an antique mall where Staffer Mom found a lot of dachshund stuff.

Maggie's too young to remember the good performances, but Staffer Mom made her watch "Thriller" one night on the 25th anniversary of it -- the whole thing. Long version. She does appreciate it all more, but thinks the whole moonwalk thing is stupid.

Neither of us really understood the nose job thing. We love our snouts and think everyone should. We can't understand why he wasn't happy with his own snout.
All that said, we hope he's happy now and dancing a lot.

We may be dogs, but.....

...we're not as stupid as the South Carolina governor.
And that's a fact.

Old friend J-Jo!

Staffer Mom was happy tonight because she talked to our old friend J-Jo. We remember J-Jo because she would play with us and she could beat Staffer Dad at Trivial Pursuit. One time she buried a cat in our yard. She also dressed up like a crazy lady and put snakes in her hair for Halloween. We admired that.
(The staff found a lot of little plastic snakes in the yard for a year or better....we liked that, too.)

Anyway, she tells us she'd like postcards from us and from all our friends from where we live.
You can mail them to:
J-Jo
c/o the ME
300 Massachusetts Ave.
Boston, Mass. 02115.
She's got a new boss, so be kind in what you write....this time.

Wimbledon time!

As careful readers will know, we love tennis. And Wimbledon is here.
It's our custom to watch early rounds at home, and then watch the rest at the beach with Aunt Jenn and Uncle Brad. (Aunt Jenn always brings champagne.)

We can sit in front of the TV and watch the tennis ball go back and forth for hours. Roger Federer and the Williams sisters are our faves, but we do wish we'd see something out of Andy Roddick and Maria Sharapova.

While we do love Staffer Mom's Wii tennis matches, we prefer ones on TV -- they are quieter and the language flying around can't be as bad as what we're exposed to here. We're not even sure what some of the words mean, but it can't be good. You'd never hear that coming from Maria. (Staffer Mom says the only difference is Maria says it in Russian, but we prefer not to believe that.)

Roasted wieners

OK. It's gotten awfully hot outside. Today it was near 100 and it's supposed to be that way for a couple more days. We thought we should offer some tips for those of you who may not be used to this:
- When you're as close to the ground as we are, you need to stay in grassy areas under trees. Heat radiating off a patio or sidewalk is dangerous. You can stay sprawled in the grass for a while and be ok.
- Dig a hole. If you dig deep enough, the cool dirt will feel good.
- Don't crawl under a car or other vehicle. You never know when the staff will head for the mall to stay cool, and you don't want to be near something that moves.
- Drink lots of water. If your dish is empty and panting's not getting the attention it deserves, pee on something your staff is using or will need very shortly. Garden gloves or the door mat come to mind.
- As much as we hate to say it, if you're destined to get a bath anyway, bring it on sooner by rolling in something nasty and smelly. Baths feel good on hot days.
- Act lame and try to stay inside. You can even fake a limp if you have to. It can magically disappear as soon as the sun goes down.

We'd love to know your advice about dealing with the heat. Please share!

It sleeps. It screams. It has a temper.

So, we figure you're tired of hearing about the kitten and we're sorry about that. It really is a bizarre animal.

It bounces off walls, literally, and then just drops off. You can't wake it up. You can shake it, toss it and move it around. We know that's true because we've seen the staff try. Did they bring home a narcoleptic hairball?

If by some miracle you do wake it up, it screams at you. It also screams if it's out of food or wants a head rub. We heard the staff say it's birth owner named it Screamer, and we know why.



Ernie says you won't believe us, so we conned Staffer Mom into helping us prove it.
Think it's cute now?
(Humans are suckers. You probably do.)

Our post and compost

Gardening must be harder than it looks. Staffer Mom is taking it very seriously, and the intensity doesn't seem to work. A few tomato plants died after the monsoon a few weeks ago so now she won't let us play in the garden at all. We think they just drowned. Either way, Staffer Mom is not amused.

Yesterday, she decreed we can't go near the new hydrangeas either because we made a mess. That's too far. She's cutting into our yard territory, and it's not fair. We didn't hurt the plants. We might have performed a bit of core aeration around them to allow more compost and minerals to flow deep into the soil -- she says that's important to a healthy yard and plant roots. But accusing us of trampling the stalks seems wrong.

It's probably no accident she found a little extra fertilizer this evening in the rows between the new tomato plants and the squash. Hope she gets it off her shoes before she comes in the house. Now that would be a mess.

Out of balance

It's been a normal Sunday around here -- outside time, eat, nap time, outside time....you know the drill.
Except the staff left for a while and came back sad. Apparently, a friend of theirs died when they didn't expect it. Same thing happened a week or 2 ago to another friend of theirs.
We know how it is when you kinda expect it -- we saw that with our old friend Hattie, scrappiest dog ever, and Mr. Tibbs, the cat who was Bandit's best friend. They were tired and just wanted to sleep.

But when you don't expect it, like with our old fat friend Ozzie, it's weird. You keep looking for them, expecting them to nudge you out of the food bowl and wondering how they are doing even when you can't see them. Things are just out of kilter for a while and for no good reason.

It's still cute

The kitten is still cute. It's been 9 weeks, and it's still cute. Surely it will wear off soon. Maggie's used to being the adorable one, so this is really driving her nuts. She's just not dealing with it well.

On another front, the staffers are watching "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here."
We're good dogs. Get us out of here.

P.S. Happy Birthday Uncle Brad. Your present from us is that we've decided not to post the annual embarrassing photo. We're saving up for next year.

We're home

The spa was great, and we're tired. Too much play.

While we were gone, the kitten and Ernie made friends. Now they want to play all the time. We have to endure them as they run around and smack each other.

And another thing: Their toys are all over the house. Looks like we'll have to dispose of a few of them. They apparently forgot about the stuffed fabric and feather thing we destroyed last week. You'd think they'd remember the hot pink feathers we left all over the bedroom as a warning.

Just wait until the staff leaves us alone. Those new fuzzy round things that rattle are going to disappear.

Much-needed time out

We're posting sporadically this weekend since we're at the spa.
The staffers were good enough to recognize we needed a few days away from the manic kitten and took us to the spa for some R&R. (Why do they insist on calling it "the vet"?)

We figure the staff must be planning to take advantage of our absence to take a trip away, because they had a suitcase out and were talking about something called "primo pool time." At this point, we don't care. We're getting great attention, toy time, special treats, a mani-pedi and hot-tub time.

We really hope the staff comes back smelling as nice as we do.

It chases its own tail, and ours, too

The new kitten is getting an unwarranted amount of attention. The staffers have given it toys, and its favorite toy is its own tail. And ours. And Ernie's.

And they've finally named it. Skeeter. What the hell's a Skeeter?

Anyway, we're fine. They are still serving us well, and so far they haven't missed a beat with us. But, we really don't understand the consternation about a kitten. It'll grow up to be a cat and lose all its cuteness. Granted, we love Ernie. He's our buddy, and he's special. This one, though, he can't even get past his own tail. Or ours.

WE'RE BACK! ...and we have a kitten

We took a sabbatical, and we'd planned to return in another month or so. But, events drove us back to the blog.

The staff got a KITTEN (We obviously don't keep them busy enough.). It's tiny, fuzzy and loud. The thing screams all the time. And it keeps spitting at us -- it's capable of these explosive, full-body spits. And belches. You'd think it eats beans all day.


Yeah, we know it's cute. So what? We've seen kittens before.
They roll around on the floor a lot, get plenty of attention, chase stuff and eventually get in trouble for clawing or eating something they shouldn't.

Ernie, by the way, hates it. He's gotten better over the last few days, and he's mellowing a bit. He feels like he's lost a bit of territory. We tell him it won't last.
We remember when he was a kitten. He was pretty well-behaved, but he was a kitten and he can't change that.

Big night(s)

So last night, a dog named Stump won the Westminster.....we like that. If our choices can't win, then an older dog with a great name should. Bandit's inspired by Stump -- he always thought he's be a good show dog and now he's wondering if it's too late to get on the circuit. His Staffer Mom is always telling him how handsome he is.

Tonight's another big night: UNC vs. Duke in the season's first matchup. Careful readers will know we proudly wear Carolina Blue collars for the Tar Heels, and we stand ready to bite almost any Dookie who comes near. (Except Uncle Kevin.) See you later. We have to park ourselves in front of the TV now. Go Heels!

We're on Westminster break

While we're already pretty honked off about the Hound Group finals, we're still hoping for better in later rounds. Right now, we're blogging during the Poodle, Pug and Strange Dog Group -- ok, Non-Sporting Group -- whatever. We do like Dalmatians OK, since our friend Yuki seems to be a very stand-up customer. But what kind of group is it when you mix chows, bulldogs and bichon frises with the pugs and poodles? And the standard poodles always win. Why do the others bother to show up? (It's got to be the stupid ball of fur on his tail.)

Tomorrow night, we root for those dogs with dreadlocks....if they're still in.
Now that the wieners are out, we've to find a kindred spirit somewhere.

It's so cold.....

As many of you know, it's pretty cold here this week.
Yes, we've seen low temperatures before, but not here. No way. In fact, we didn't think the staff would ever move us anywhere freezing again because they don't like it much either.

You're probably asking "How cold is it?"
Glad you asked.

It's so cold:
- The grass cracks when we walk on it.
- Staffer Mom told us not to lick our metal food dishes.
- Ernie the cat had to defrost a freshly killed mouse last night. (He left it on the window sill.)
- We have to break the water before we can drink it.
- Our food is a little extra-crunchy.
- Bandit leaves icicles when he takes a break next to his favorite bush.
- We can see steam coming off our poo.
And,
- We can't roll in deer pee; we slide on it.

Super Bowl stupor

It was a strange weekend at our house. First of all, there was no internet. Again. The staff has to get this figured out.
We do have a few observations to share:
- Puppy Bowl. We noted they'd added an extra deck on the "stadium" this year, but we didn't see nearly enough dachshund action. The Kitty halftime was a nice touch, and we definitely liked it when they dumped a bunch of paper on the cats at the end. We often want to do that to Ernie.
- The Boss. Bandit likes Bruce very much, but neither of us understood why he needed a football game for an opening act. Bandit felt that was disrespectful to Bruce and the Band.
- Commercials. Again, a bunch of big-ass horses. Remember the Sprint dachshund commercial anyone? Dachshund...oxen....you know.
- The Australian Open. Thank heaven it's over. As careful readers know, we love our tennis. But, those 3:30 a.m. match starts were killing us. If the Aussies really want us to watch, could they please move the times to something normal? Maggie was crazed for Serena, so those early mornings were vicious and interrupted our routine. We both admit the Williams sisters doubles team is so scrappy and strong, they should be honorary dachshunds. Definitely on the Fierce List. Definitely.
- The Tar Heels and great basketball. What a great basketball weekend -- buzzer beaters and the Heels on a roll! Oh yeah...Duke lost. Staffer Mom was happy about that.
- And finally, Staffer Mom cooked a lot and we found some pizza cheese on the floor!

Quick rant

How is it fair that the staffers can eat 2 dozen chicken wings in front of us and we don't even get a lick or a bone or anything?
How is that fair?
Just wait until we get back outside near Staffer Mom's new plants.

Nighttime can be funtime

Winter can be tough because it's cold, but for us, it's sometimes worse because it gets dark outside earlier. We can still smell all the good stuff, but it's harder to find our good holes and the neighbor's cat or chihuahua. It's also harder for the staff to figure out we've left the yard and gone exploring.

The other night, we discovered we could run into the neighbors' yards and their outside lights would turn on. Ernie the cat explained it to us: If you move in front of the special spotlights, they come on.

Then, we figured out that all five neighbors have one of those cool lights to scare off bad people and deer. (Doesn't work for deer -- we know that. Willis just thinks they are funny. He says they help him find the good plants to eat.)

Anyway, when it's time to go in the house, we can run away from Staffer Dad and set off the neighbors' spotlights. He tries to track us by following the lights that pop on across the back yards.

So that brings us to the new winter game: Turn on all five backyard lights before we get caught and have to go in. Maggie's up to 3 at a time and Bandit's managed all 5 once. We're considering a point system where each week's winner gets first roll in the fresh deer pee.

Staffer Dad is not amused.

We've been slacking

No, we haven't been in timeout -- and we're pretty sure that's what you thought. We've just been slackers. We've just been having a pretty good time, and we took a break. But we're back.

We'll try to catch you up with our latest adventures:
- Right before Christmas, we woke up one morning and heard all sorts of strange sounds outside...it sounded like the chainsaw and giant suck machine (vacuum cleaner?) all at one time, so that couldn't be good. When we finally got to go outside and check out the noise, we found our favorite big pine trees were missing from the backyard. Bandit was particularly upset to find all the excavation work he'd done around the tree near the weird bush was all gone. Now there was a big hole full of wood chips. We're not really sure what caused this, but we figure there will be lots of termites and grubs in that part of the yard when summer comes. That can't be bad.

- Christmas was fun. Grandma came and slipped us food under the table a couple of times. Staffer Mom took some time off and when she does that, she tends to cook a lot. This time, she cooked so much, she dropped food on the floor a lot, so that worked out well. She can stay home more often.

- The staff got a Wii. And frankly, we think those things are hazardous. First of all, they always move the furniture to play with it, and when Staffer Mom is Wii boxing she gets pretty violent. Last night, she nearly stepped on Maggie twice. When Staffer Dad's playing Wii bowling, he won't let us in the den at all. This was quite unexpected for us and remains an annoying situation.

- Then, we spent New Year's at the beach. It was cold there, but the staff lets us sit on the couch at the beach house and that made up for a lot. Unlike last year, they didn't make us watch all five "Planet of the Apes" movies. Instead, they took the stupid Wii to play with. Now we're worried they'll take away our Wimbledon and U.S. Open vacations to play with that stupid toy.

So that puts us about even...except for our new nighttime yard game. We'll tell you about that later.

The spirit of giving

Today, one of our Yahoo alerts -- yes, we can do that -- brought us this great story of a man who got a new recliner with the help of his dachshund.

We think this is good for every dachshund to know, because it's important to know you can have fun on good projects to help your staffers. For instance, if your Staffer Dad says something like "Wow, I wish I had a new pair of dress shoes....", that's your hint to go do a bit of surgery on them to make them absolutely unwearable. That way he'll get new shoes, and you'll have helped in a way you enjoy.

We helped Staffer Mom out several times with some shoes and a couple pairs of socks we felt she really needed to get rid of. Maggie got a tooth hung in the strappy sandals, but it all worked out OK. We were banished from the closet for a week or so, but there wasn't much else to do there anyway.
At this time of giving, think of it as more than an average chore. You're helping out the staff and they can give each other something the other really needs now!

A Wiener Dog chair!

Yesterday Aunt Laurie went shopping and sent us the coolest picture of a chair....it's made of wiener dogs. (Thank goodness they weren't real.)
We like it when she goes out with her Iphone and sends us stuff she sees in California. (The staff says that's all the way across the country from here.) She found this at the Peter Alexander store there and thought we'd like it.
She was right.
For those of you who don't know, Peter Alexander is our favorite designer because he always tries to include dachshunds in his pajama designs and other things. He honors his old dachshund friend Penelope with the designs. We think it's a nice thing to do, and we hope our staff will do something that nice for us.

More Maggies! And puppies!

Here's another sharing shout-out for our blog friends Joey and Maggie over at The Long and Short of It.
Check out this blog entry and the live streaming web cam of dachshund pupppies!

And if you've paid careful attention and watched the show, that's 3 Maggies in one blog!

Thanks Joey and Maggie!