New faces, same places: LowdogWorld returns

 It's been a minute - apparently. I'm Irvin, and Sadie is sitting next to me --We found this old blog login when we were ordering Amazon stuff for Christmas. Staffer Mom left her computer open when she went to get coffee. (More coffee, geez, she needs to cut back.) We've been learning about the creators of this masterpiece, Bandit and Maggie. They were fun! We wish we'd met them. 

So we asked the staff about all of this -- it turns out that Sadie and I ARE NOT the first dachshunds the staff has served. There were more....and since Bandit and Maggie, there was a small friend called Groot. She apparently couldn't type, though; she was too small to reach the keyboard. Anyway, I can, and we're here to take over. 

So we'll be refreshing the site, putting up our pictures and giving your our opinions on things we know little about. Isn't that what bloggers do? We should be good at this...

Tennis takes guts and tape

And we're back....unfortunately our basketball teams have all tanked in the NCAA tournament, so we're turning to tennis again. The Sony is on, and Serena's playing well in spite of clearly showing some age. All we know is that if we had that much tape on our thighs, we'd not be able to lift a leg. And for Bandit, that would be a problem.

Both Williams sisters will be close by next week and weekend for the Family Circle Cup in Charleston.  We're begging (yes, we're lowering ourselves to that) the staff to give us a ride up there. What could it hurt?

We heard the announcers say Serena isn't playing with gut any more. As it turns out, they didn't mean she wasn't tough or instinctive. They were discussing her racquet strings. The cats aren't really happy to hear that catgut is still used. We started to explain that catgut isn't from cats -- it can be from many different animals and is thought to be short for cattle gut.
But we decided not to tell them.

We like it when the arrogant cats are horrified. Maybe we'll tell them that Staffer Dad's tennis racquet is strung with gut from old fat Ozzie who died a few years ago.
That should send Skeeter reeling for a day or so.

We love the madness

It's March Madness and we've been called out recently for not posting as much as we should.
Fair enough.

Here's the deal: Now that Bandit's blind, he can't watch the games and that makes a bracket tough to finish except when he's using the tried-and-true snackie-treat method (red treat - high seed, green treat- low seed....) to pick games.

Bandit can listen to the games, and he's developed an unhealthy dislike for certain announcers. For example, if it's a Dickie V game, we make the staff mute the sound. Otherwise Bandit just starts barking randomly. We've found the barking irritates the staff and gets Bandit a free trip to Staffer Dad's lap. Mission accomplished.

Staffer Mom won't let us leave the room while the Tar Heels are playing, so if the staff gets loud we start roaming the room like we need to go out. For a while, she thought we were faking...Bandit put a stop to that.
Now when we roam, the staff pauses the game and lets us take an outside break.

And yes, Bandit picked Wichita State. Shocker? Not so much. Those green snack bones are just better.

Is pro tennis a whiny sport?

As our careful readers know, we love to watch tennis and especially the Williams sisters. Guy tennis is good, too, but we really don't have a favorite right now. And Andy Murray got some respect yesterday at the U.S. Open when he put up with the wind and other stuff to win. At one point, his opponent Berdych complained that Murray's hat blew off and distracted him. Really?

But here's the question: Why are tennis players so persnickety about noise and sneezing fans and weather and such? So didn't any of these people ever play on public courts? Every time we go near courts we see kids whooping, people running outside the fences and stuff blowing around. And weather? Hey -- it's an outdoor sport, so you have to expect the wind now and then.

We have to agree with Staffer Dad on this one -- baseball players can hit a 100-mph fastball with thousands of cheering or jeering fans and squirrels running on the field. That seems a lot harder to us.
And we put up with a lot of stuff, too -- baths, wet high grass at walk time and heckling squirrels. (What's with the squirrels?) Not to mention Skeeter's antics in the house. Makes a blown-off hat seem trivial.

A blogosphere moment

Maggie's been reading a lot lately. She tries to share what she can with Bandit, but with his blindness and ability to sleep all the time he's not really listening. He just looks like he is. We've seen Staffer Dad do that to Staffer Mom before. Every now and then, we'll post our faves here since Maggie needs to share.

Still the best

Check out the fun posts over at The Long and Short of It. Those guys are hilarious and they find the absolute best stuff about our adorable breed. Please follow them.

Abysmal treatment 

We'd never be caught on a site like Dog Shaming, but we think the staff might try to catch us in a situations that could be misconstrued like when the chimney leaked after a rain, but they thought Maggie had forgotten to request a moment outside. We're pretty sure it rained while they were at work. Why are there so many dachshunds on there?

Elephant butt and big kitties

Aunt Jenn and Uncle Brad have been traveling in Africa. They are keeping a blog over at Esta Bien and we're following it very closely. First they told us about seeing lots and lots of elephants. Then they met the lion who was hanging around outside their tent. They were really scared of it. Apparently, we didn't teach them much at all: It's just a big kitty.
But so far, our favorite story is about Toilet Hippo who roared every time Aunt Jenn went to the latrine. We think we're going to try barking every time Staffer Dad tries to find quiet time in the bathroom. And we know we're going to light up Skeeter when he's on the litter box. That scaredy cat will probably hit his head on the ceiling.

Olympics and more

Ok, so we've been pretty quiet during the Olympics.
We haven't made fun of how long you have to hold your breath if you're a synchronized swimmer or said anything about how butt cheeks are apparently OK to show now for volleyball players.
We've mostly resisted the urges to be catty. (Well, Maggie hasn't....)

We were very happy to see Serena and Venus kick some butt, and we love Misty and Kerri. They rule.
And we're begging the staff for Subway sandwiches since they seem to be the ticket for Michael Phelps. But when they get them, Staffer Dad snarfs them down without even offering to share.

But here we are watching today -- it's a weekend and NBC still won't show us what's actually going on live at the games. We're stuck with Moroccan handball or something. Please. What's next? Cricket? Sadly, Staffer Mom likes obscure sports, so she'd probably like that.

Speaking of competition -- the registration's open for the Savannah Wiener Dog Races Oct. 6.
Click here to see details and register.
Also, follow the updates and conversation before the race on Twitter with @SAVWienerDog. We're helping out with the feed, so if you recognize the humor, you'd be right!

It's Bandit's birthday!

Yes, we're back --
It's Bandit's birthday and we had to celebrate with all of you!

After all, how often does a great dachshund turn 18?

We don't have a lot of plans for the week, but we intend to spend it wisely. The staff is distracted by yet another raccoon break-in on the back porch, but we think they are aware it's a very special day on Thursday. We're sticking together and plan to refuse funny hats or stupid pictures. 

Bandit may have lost his vision, but he certainly hasn't lost his dignity -- and it's not going to happen with an asinine hat.

And we're certainly not going anywhere with Staffer Dad. He seems to think Bandit needs to go register for the draft. What's the draft anyway? We have had a draft beer before though, and that was good. We could use another one of those....maybe a mug for Bandit's birthday?

Venus is back and so are we

It's U.S. Open time, and we are so glad the staff let us watch the opening night matches.
It's not that we were tired of Little League Baseball, but we really were. We didn't want to tell Staffer Mom, but we really didn't care what happened to those kids. A couple times, it was clear one of those teams could've fielded a whole lot better if they'd had a wiener dog for a shortstop.

By the way, we're watching a little differently this year. Bandit's lost all but a little of his peripheral vision, so Maggie's having to do some play-by-play commentary. She's focusing on Venus' tennis wear and doing a lousy job of giving the score. Bandit depends on Staffer Mom for the score and associated noises with great shots.
Careful readers know how much we love the Williams Sisters, so starting our viewing time with Venus tonight is a good omen for the rest of the week.

Hurricane leaves lazy day

So we've been waiting for days on this big Irene storm that was supposed to come through here and make a lot of noise. Nada. Nothing.
Apparently this Irene thing went on up north where the Yankees live. Hope they can deal with it. We've done our share of storms, and we really don't intend to do any more if we can help it.  One of them cost us our fave doghouse a few years ago, and we still aren't too happy about that.

In the meantime, the staff's been hanging around. Staffer Dad was so bored he decided we needed a bath.  Really? Surely there are other things to do.  Doesn't the cat need his claws trimmed or something? We'd be happy to help with that.

Fun time!

We're recuperating from two great weekends -- one with Aunt Audrey and one where we didn't get a bath!

Aunt Audrey came and played with us -- she even sent a few Cheerios our way the other morning when the staff wasn't looking . We know she was just looking after us since they were of the multigrain variety. It was fun having her here. She understands dachshunds.

And this weekend, we played until it was too hot outside. The staff made us come in and forgot it was bath time! Staffer Dad told us last night our luck wasn't going to last -- he said we smelled already. We resent that. Even the Kitten says it's not true, and he's got reason to lie. We kicked him off Blue Pillow twice in two days.

The long weekend

Yes, it's a holiday weekend, and we really weren't sure what was going to happen since Staffer Mom declared Wimbledon over for us when the Williams Sisters lost. But, things are looking better.

Today the staff took off and left us all day. They went somewhere requiring a ferry ride and time on an island with feral horses and wild boars. Whatever. We were prepared for the day to be a wild bore when they put us in the bathroom with the dreaded gate between us and the house. The stupid Kitten teased us from the other side until we figured out how to break out -- and then we were in charge.

We played for a while, chased Kitten a lot, and napped on Blue Pillow. When the staff finally got home, all we wanted to do was pee. They were pretty horrified to find us roaming free. Oh well. That's what they get for leaving us.

Now we hear Aunt Audrey's coming to visit, so this weekend shows much promise after all. She might feed us off the table!

Spiritual therapy for pets | savannahnow.com

Spiritual therapy for pets | savannahnow.com

It's Wimbledon time!

All in all it's been a good weekend -- the staff was around a lot, our friend Jake is here -- and we didn't get a bath. Best of all, there's Wimbledon.

Faithful readers will know how much we love the major tennis tournaments. It's Wimbledon time and the Williams sisters are IN.

Maggie loves Venus -- she's stylish and tough. Bandit prefers Serena's tough, competitive nature. Tennis-ball activities have long been favorites of ours, and we know how hard it is to play with them. The William sisters know how to make it happen.

We're sorry about Roddick's loss, and we can't wait to see what shapes up with Nadal and Federer. In the meantime, serve'em up Serena and Venus!

Enough of the Weiner jokes

We're really fed up with all the ruckus about Rep. Anthony Weiner. We've even heard someone call him a hound.

That's an insult to all of us who are really wiener dogs and hounds. Granted, he'd be lucky to be one of us. At least we have sense enough not to take pics of our parts and sent them out of Twitter. Geez.

Enough. Find another news story. Move on.

Hospital sleepovers and tourney time

From Maggie: We had a few scary days this week. Bandit felt really awful on Wednesday and the staff made him go to the Emergency Clinic. We didn't know what was wrong, but Bandit said he had a tummy ache and wouldn't move or eat. He said he was cold, too, and the nice vet said he had a really high fever, so he had a sleepover there.

The next day the staff took him to see our fave vets at Case Veterinary Hospital where Dr. Witherow poked and prodded him a lot. He must've liked it there, too, because he had another sleepover and Staffer Dad said Dr. Witherow stayed with him some.

In the meantime, I got lots of attention, which was OK but I didn't have anyone to snuggle with at all. I usually sleep with Bandit and he keeps me warm. Next time he's gone, the staff really needs to think about letting me sleep with them.

From Bandit: I've been away for a few days, and it sure is nice to be home. Dr. Witherow says I had some sort of infection. Staffer Mom lets me have extra treats with my pills. Staffer Dad takes me outside regularly and hovers a lot. I think he's still worried about me, and I wish he'd quit watching me poop.

From Maggie and Bandit: The best part about being home now is that it's ACC tournament time and the basketball is the best. The tournament is an important tradition in our house. Downside is that very little gets done and sometimes we have to walk around a lot and head-butt someone to get the staff to pay attention enough to let us outside when we have to go.

Whether the Tar Heels win or lose, it's a good time to stay on Blue Pillow in front of the TV. Granted, Bandit can't see much, but we always know who's winning by the noises Staffer Mom makes. We know enough to keep our paws out of her jump radius, too. A Tar Heel game can be a very dangerous time if we're not paying attention. We think the only thing that should be in danger is a Dookie.

Lame staff antics

Can you believe the staffers were trying to decide whether to watch The Oscars or Tar Heel basketball?
The Oscars will last all night anyway. They can catch up.

We've made it pretty clear we'd take action if we didn't hear some basketball on the TV ASAP. There's a freshly cleaned rug in there just waiting for our statement.

...And there's Tyler Zeller on the tube right now. That's better.

(And no worry -- we do care about The Oscars. After the game, we'll check to find out how SlinkyDog's movie fares...we're fans!)

Stupid human rules

We weren't going to blog again today, but Staffer Mom showed us an upsetting news story and we had to share. Can you believe the city won't let the Girl Scouts sell cookies in front of the Juliette Gordon Low House?  Click here.
They're Girl Scouts! The sell cookies to fund their activities. It's what they do.

Humans can certainly make a lot of stupid rules.  Reminds us of the stupid rules the staff gives us: no digging in the garden even when we know there are moles in there, no letting Skeeter Kitten go outside even when we know he should be out there permanently, telling us not to scratch or lick in front of company or eat out of the cat food bowl.
We're dogs! It's what we do.

Notes from the lowdogs' week

Hello!
We're so glad to be back and writing again! And, we're so happy to heave heard from our Navy buddies, Skipper, Cricket and Pretzel. They have a new friend, too, Mandy. They also let us know they got a Kackel Dackel game for Christmas...we're pretty jealous of that. They also donated one to DRNA for auction and helped fund placement for homeless dachshunds. Great idea!
(If you want to see how those cool games work, check the link in the previous post.)

We've also been playing outside more. It's been a cold, wet winter and that wasn't much fun. But the past few weekends have been great! The staff let us stay out until dark several times, and we've left them a few holes to fill when they are out there.

Also, we've been watching a lot of basketball. You know we love our Tar Heels, so Staffer Dad does play-by-play for Bandit during games. Today, though, he made us come in the house for a Missouri State game. He says they won a championship and we're glad for his Bears, but our heart belongs to the Heels.
And, we're ready needed outside. It past time to discuss bird feeder vandalism with the nasty neighbor squirrels.

Games we can play

So, we learned today from our friend Clarence about a dachshund game you have to buy.
Here's the link.

We'd play this for free if you'll give us some treats!

All dachshunds are works of art

Picasso had a soft spot for dachshunds -- rightfully so.
Here's more proof of it in the NY Times arts blog. Check it out.


Now we've got to convince the staff to get us some designer plates. Those stainless steel bowls aren't going to cut it anymore.

Happy Wiener Dog New Year!

Wow! It's been half a year since we last posted, and we're really sorry about that. Oh, and we're blaming the staff.

They've been pretty lame -- we don't always need their help, but we do need access to computers, good wi-fi and some quality attention. They also get distracted easily and have found many reasons not to help us out. We're not sure they should even be called "staff" at this point. We've regained our computer privileges, and we've been shamed by Aunt Audrey for not posting.

So, here's a recap since summer:
- We didn't get to go to the dachshund races. Again.
- Bandit's lost most of his eyesight. (He's officially got cataracts -- we don't understand why they aren't called "dogaracts," except that they are bad and that's probably why they are associated with cats instead of dogs.)
- Maggie has been at war with the Kitten, who is now called Skeeter.  The orange hellion steals Maggie's toys. He's going to pay.
- Ernie has been very sweet and squeals on Skeeter regularly, and he leaves us alone. He also tells us where to find his latest kills in the yard. We like Ernie. 
- The Kitten did not knock down the Christmas tree this year. We're all glad about that. The fallout from last year's incident affected all of us. The staff deemed us all untrustworthy for quite some time.
That's about it.

A couple other notes:
- Our friend Foster died last month. He lived with his foster and rescue friends at Miss Ellen's house. That made us sad. We're certain his friend, Henry, misses him very much. Henry has been sick, too, and Miss Ellen is taking very good care of him. We believe Foster is very happy now.
- Bandit can't really write much anymore, so most of what we say now will be from Maggie. He can still find a dead mole in the yard within 30 seconds of going through the screen door, but he's not able to type any more.
- One other thing: Aunt Linda has moved to town and now the staff is incorrigible. They stay out late, eat out all the time (lessening the possibility of floor food) and take stupid photos of us to text to her. 

So here we are at the new year. We've been thinking a lot about our resolutions, and we've decided not to have any. Making a resolution means we have to focus on those, and we just don't have the time. There's just too much to do -- don't need the stress.

If you made a resolution, let us know! We want to know what you're working on, so we can cheer you on!

Stupid humans, Ch. 1

So this guy in Russia thinks it would be fun to take his dachshund scuba diving. While we appreciate his wanting to spend more time with his canine, this was a bit too much for us when we heard the poor thing squeaking underwater.
Please.
Here's a video.
We think they probably quit filming after the dog came out of the water and tore the owner a new orafice. And we don't mean a hole in his wetsuit, either. 
Bet that made him squeak.

We saw the Wienermobile!

It's true! The staff took us on a great field trip this weekend!
We saw the official Wienermobile, or at least one of them.

While we weren't allowed to go inside, we did get to stand on the steps and we had our pictures taken with it.  Here are a few of the pics -- the best ones have the staff in them because they were helpful and lifted us up so we could see better. Staffer Dad also let Bandit sniff the back end of the giant hotdog, and Maggie got to look in through the windshield since she was told in no uncertain terms she couldn't drive.

The hotdog was parked in front of a Kroger, and of course we couldn't go in there either. Lots of people were hanging around, and we expected to come out of the deal with at least a munchie or two. But, it was a pretty clean parking lot. The Wienermobile's staff was really, really nice, and one of them even said she was from Staffer Dad's home state, Missouri. If you want to see more about the stop in Savannah, here's a video of the inside and other pics from savannahnow.com.

All good field trips are educational. Here's what we learned:

• There are eight total rolling wieners and six on the road. The other two are for back-up. You can learn more about the fleet here.
• The big wiener sits on a Chevy truck chasis. We wondered about that since it seemed roomy and nice.
• There is no chili or mustard or relish on it. Just a dog and a bun. The seats are mustard-colored, though.
• The way-cool celebrity meat vehicles winter in Wisconsin and head all over in the summer driven by students who call themselves "hotdoggers." They keep a blog, too.
• Wiener dogs who eat hot dogs are not cannibals. Hot dogs aren't made from wiener dogs. We were very glad to have that fact reinforced. The Kitten told us they were. But, thankfully, we learned that's not true. Wonder why he told us that?

Field trips are fun!

All right. We know.

We've been scarce lately. And we're sorry. It's been a little nuts since the stupid Kitten came to live with us. Bandit has lost a lot of his eyesight, and Maggie, well, she's still cranky as ever.
In other words, we're fine.

Summer's here and the staff is finally spending some time around the house. It's a holiday weekend, and we generally expect our annual road trip and some Wimbledon action. This week, they've got us all discombobulated. But we did get to go riding, so that's a start.

Who's up for some wiener-dog curling?

OK. It always seems like we're apologizing for taking a break, but it's been really darn cold, it snowed and we discovered a new sport to keep us mesmerized for the past two weeks.
We organized our naps and play around the basketball season until the Tar Heels imploded. It's not that we are fair-weather fans. We absolutely aren't -- but it became pretty painful to watch and we can only take so much.
We took our solace in the Winter Olympics and curling. Now that's a really great game, and we think it could be more popular if they'd listen to a few of our suggestions.
We're certain if you added a dachshund to each team, the swifter, more unpredictable movement would guarantee more sponsors and some serious cash and snackies for the players.
Let's face it: What's more entertaining than wiener dogs on ice? What if they were dodging 42-pound pieces of granite? Substitute dachshunds for at least one sweeper per team, and as they say, it would be a total game-changer!

P.S. We think more teams should look as sharp as the Norwegians.....those pants are the best!

A new perch!

We didn't think the staff would let us go without a place to nap, but we were unprepared for the way-cool pillow they brought us. It has a warm side and a cool one. It's fat and feels firm on our backs. It's Great!
We slept for 3 straight hours on it just to make sure it was the right one. We still miss Green Pillow's homey smell, but we'll get this one just right over time. Oh yeah.

R.I.P. Green Pillow

So this is how it ends.
We run into the room, and it's gone. Our dear Green Pillow.

It's true. It had lost its padding, cushioning for our backs. But it was still our safe place to run when we were in trouble. The staff always promised we'd never suffer consequences of our mischief if we ran to Green Pillow and stayed for a bit. We used it well.
The round mound has been our spot to view the world: We've welcomed new kittens, old friends and good parties. From there, we've cheered the Heels to championships, the Cardinals to the World Series and watched Serena take on Venus and line judges.
It's a warm place where we've snoozed for many, many hours on cold, rainy days.
And best of all, nothing in this world smelled like our friend, Green Pillow. And that is probably why it is now gone.

Rest in peace, Green Pillow.

Cold weather blues

We're not sure why it's cold outside, but we can attest that is and has been very cold. It's so cold the staff won't even make us stay out for our normal time in the evenings before bedtime. Staffer Mom says no beast should be out in this weather, and we're OK with that. We did suggest she let the Willis and his deer friends in the house, and she refused to consider it.
Maggie got a science lesson, too. Bandit remembers living in Kentucky where it stayed cold a lot. He said that pee will crack when it hit the cold stone outside the door, and it will! We've tried it several times now and so Staffer Mom says we have to go all the way off the walk before we can pee now. That's probably for the best anyway since the grass doesn't seem so cold.
It needs to get warm soon. We can only amuse ourselves in this cold for so long.

Home again, and the truth about Kitten

Whew.
It's been a wild week or so, and we're happy to be home with Green Pillow and our fave food bowls. It was a nice time, though. We met a new puppy friend, Gilmour. Our staff spent a bit more time than we thought was appropriate, but he did seem sweet enough.

When we got home, we found Kitten had just taken over.
He's a pain in our hides, and we're really very tired of his getting to be anywhere he wants and going places we're never allowed. We're posting a couple examples to prove the situation.

1- The Christmas tree. Yes, it was supposed to stand upright, and yes, the staff did decorate it. Staffer Mom was not amused.
2- Kitten in OUR laundry room. Note to selves: Find a way to get Staffer Dad to shut the lid. Even if we're too short to turn on the washer, he can sit in there for a bit and reflect on his behavior.

Many holiday miles

We've gotten some miles on us over the past weeks -- been through four different states in the limo, but the staff's avoided Alabama for once so that's a plus.

(Careful readers know Maggie's a 'Bama native, so we can't be too harsh. But, when she has particularly impertinent days, Bandit's fond of saying "You can take the girl out of Phenix City......")

Anyway, we had a very nice visit with grandma, Aunt Audrey and Cousin Ellen in NC. Ellen is pretty cool because she's got a long dog, too, named Duncan. It's a Corgi, and we accept those as extended family. (Extended...get it?)

Now we're at the beach. It's raining, so that makes the walks a bit shorter because Staffer Dad doesn't like water on his head and he can't handle us and an umbrella. The beach trip was nice -- we got to stop at our fave walk area at the Osceola Forest. We stopped once other time at Staffer Mom's fave truck stop near Tallahassee (good coffee). That was the best! We found gum in the parking lot near the car. Staffer Mom wasn't very happy about that, but it was good stuff. Peppermint, maybe.

It might clear off tomorrow, so we'll be walking more. It's been windy here, and we saw some overturned trash cans down the street. Score!

Holiday fun

We can tell it's nearly Christmas because the staff's dragging out the holiday boxes and stuff. They also keep leaving the Santa and Elf costumes for us out where we can see them. Like that's going to make us put them on.
Staffer Mom put a Holly Elf collar on Kitten the other night -- he even acted like he liked it. What a suck-up! We had to give him a bit of respect later when he took the Santa hat and hid it under the bed. He was right -- she was going to try that on him next.
Yesterday the staff hung wreaths on the windows and doors. Today they put out poinsettias in the house where we can't get to them (no fun there) and it looks like they are about to drag in a tree.
We've already told Kitten how much fun it is to climb a fully decorated Christmas tree and bite the lights. He seems excited about the possibility.
Was that wrong?